Once Upon Online

chapter 82

She looks at me with worried eyes, "What's wrong?" She ask again.

I sigh while still covering my body. "Do you not find me attractive anymore?" I ask.

She shakes her head, clearly taken aback by my question. "Of course I do. Why do you think I don't?" She ask right away.

"You don't look at me. When I take off my shirt, you don't seem to react or try to take a peek. I know I was already gaining weight when we met in person so maybe you don't find my body attractive at all" I say tightening my hold on the blanket against my body.

"Love, that doesn't mean I don't find you attractive. You have an amazing body, trust me. I think about it a lot. I don't look when you take off your shirt because the only time you take off your shirt and I'm around is when you're having your time with Ervin so I was giving you your privacy" she explains while speaking softly.

"Then how come you don't try to make a move on me?" I ask, loosening up my grip on the blanket.

"Because you just gave birth. I don't know how that really affects your body or how much recovery time you need or if you're allowed to do sexual activities. I'm very ignorant to those things so I'm trying to give you time to recover from that and Eva sleeps with us. It would be weird for me to make a move when Eva is around" she softly chuckles.

She's right. Eva does sleep with us most nights. "Does that bother you? Eva sleeping with us?" I ask. I suddenly feel bad because maybe I'm not fulfilling her needs because we rarely sleep alone together. Eva is always with us.

"No" she answers but I'm comfortable now and I'm not trying to cover myself up anymore. I see her eyes look down but I don't think she means it. She's probably just looking because I mentioned it.

"When you were in Michigan and I'm here, what do you do when you feel like you want it?" I ask, implying sex.

"Nothing. I don't really have urges unless you're around. I'm not the type to suddenly have urges" she tells me.

"So you never have the need to have sex? Not even with me?" I furrow my brows at her.

"When I'm with you I do but not when we're far away from each other. I have to control myself a lot with you, Yeji. You're so fucking sexy, especially when you get out of the shower with your hair still a bit wet" I try to contain my smile because I didn't want to give in right away. I like how she has a specific moment where she finds me sexy the most but I'm not sure if I completely believe her that nothing is happening when we're apart.

"I don't know if I believe that you're not doing anything in Michigan. So many girls around you. You can easily find anyone to please you" I say quietly and look down.

"Love, look at me" she says so I do, "Are you doing something with other people here?" She ask.

"No. Why would you ask that?" I say, offended.

"Then why are you asking that I'm doing that back home? I've mentioned to you before that I can live without sex. I mean it. What's the point of having sex with someone I don't have feelings for? Why would I ruin our relationship like that? I love you so fucking much Yeji. So much that sometimes it hurts" she puts both hands on my cheeks and I automatically lean into her touch.

"You're my one and only love. You're the only one I want to make love with. You're the only one I want in my arms. You're the only one I want by my side. You're the only one my heart beats for" she continues and I start crying. Damn hormones.

She hugs me when she sees the tears start coming out. I can't believe I practically just accused her of cheating. "I'm sorry" I cry into her shoulder.

"Sshh. Remember, never apologize for how you're feeling. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm not offended or hurt. I just wanted you to see that there's no one else for me but you" She starts rubbing my back.