Dreamland Review Archive

The Golden City (CY)

The Golden City

Author: EveRogerthegreat

Genre: Fantasy

Cover: 75/100

Though quite simple, your cover is actually pretty good. The image gives off a great fantasy-adventure vibe, but does little else. It's simplicity really lacks a wow factor that draws readers in. My favorite covers, and the ones that grab my attention the most, are ones that feature some sort of central object, that's interesting and relatable, as the main focus. It doesn't have to be flashy, just something that draws readers eyes rather than the landscape you could search forever in. If you choose the small people at the bottom to be that object, I'd definitely make them bigger. Your next issue is the font. It's clean and easy to read, but again, it's simple. The font doesn't reflect a fantasy vibe, something that definitely needs to be fixed. And don't be afraid to play around with fonts and sizes. Not every word has to be the same font or size, be creative! The subscript and your name also need to be bigger, they're hard to read, and everyone should be able to know the author of this amazing novel!

Blurb: 80/100

Based purely on writing style, your blurb wouldn't have scored this high, but there is a lot of potential. Your wording is a bit all over the place, and some is outright boring and doesn't fit. Blurbs are a snappy preview to your book to yet again draw in readers. Make every word count! I've done some edits so you get an idea:

Years ago, chaos struck the Golden City, the former home of the powerful Illanoits. Many had left the magical city to reside in the normal world, and as their powers passed to their children, their heritage was nearly forgotten. Some ceased to receive powers, and those who still had them didn't have much.

One day, even that power begins to disappear. Something is wrong inside of the city, the queen has disappeared, a powerful ruler has been hanged. Everyone who was ever loyal to the queen is on the run. New monsters are on the loose, threatening to breach the outer world.

The queen must fight for her crown, for the safety of all her subjects, and against all the false allegations. The Illanoits must not let their trust shake, they must not embrace the ways of their new king.

Along with a few typos and some missing punctuation, I fixed some wording to improve the flow and understanding of your blurb. It's truly wonderful, and if you work on it a little bit, it would be absolutely perfect. It's a great preview to your book, short yet informative, just keep in mind some of the edits and tips to make it better!

Grammar: 85/100

Great job on the grammar! You have the basics down, I did notice a few typos and misspellings here and there, but nothing a quick proof can't fix. You also have a habit of making overly wordy sentences, so always be sure to make the best use of every word and punctuation mark, maximizing your flow and understanding.

For example: One day, when in one such conflict, a group of rebelling Illanoits slaughtered several humans, The King, King Curtis, who preceded Queen Areum, and didn't had one of the greatest reigns, sent his second daughter, Trista, as a peace offering to the human world.

Edited: One day, a conflict arose when a group of rebelling Illanoits slaughtered several humans, including King Curtis. He had preceded Queen Areum, not having the greatest of reigns, and sent his second daughter, Trista, as a peace offering to the human world.

In the above example, your paragraph was quite wordy, repeating some words as well as having punctuation that didn't flow well. Always be mindful of word choice, examine it to make sure it makes sense, and read it aloud to make sure it flows well with your punctuation and doesn't seem redundant.