Dreamland Review Archive

Legends of Taljin: Secrets of the Sword (DS)

Legends of Taljin: Secrets of the Sword, by scrabblepost

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read your book. Please, keep in mind that my reading of your story is by necessity a subjective opinion. Your story is beautiful and important to you more than any other story you could have been telling. How I perceived it is very much a matter of my preferences

I have read 10 chapters of your story, since I knew going in that it is an accomplished story and the chapters were fairly long. 

Your book is tagged as adventure and high/epic fantasy, so I looked first and foremost at how much the story stimulated my imagination and how important your main character had become to me; how much I wanted to figure out what's going to happen to them, the setting that told me that 'it could possibly happen this way', and if I would be able to remember your story a few months from now. In addition, I looked for the staples that make fantasy feel epic.

I think that the title of your story blends the epic elements (the name of your world) with the familiar concepts of the epic fantasy. It hints that the book is a part of a series, as befit epic fantasy. I like this combination. Your blurb is short. I felt that the book content was a bit drowned under all the other information included in the summary.

The only named character, Karus, mentioned in the blurb doesn't feature in the book until chapter 3 (as well as the prologue of considerable length). Having a named character like that makes him the main character in my mind, so I was expecting to see him a bit earlier. I would have preferred his chapter in whole or in part to be the first one, replacing the current prologue. His chapter focuses on the One Who Could Wield the Sword, and the connection between Veyale and Hedal could be lampshaded as a part of actions in the current chapter 1 or 2–or even later on. Ela, for me, comes across stronger and more interesting in chapter 6, rather than prologue, as well. chapter 6, with its tension, is wonderful! Chapter 6 is the point at which I became immersed and invested into the story and the world.

I adore your approach in contrasting a familiar archetype in Veyale—the woman who has to prove to everyone that she is a warrior—with a fresher take on Hedal as someone of maybe nascent wisdom of being humbled vs just a prince and a playboy. I like arrogance in Veyale, but I wouldn't have minded earlier touches of more complexity of the character, like I noticed in Hedal. In the opening chapters, she feels a bit of a one-note character. It paves the way for rich character development as the story progresses, like in chapter 8. however, I was missing maybe a hint of something yet unseen for her in chapter 6.

Chapter 7 shines in introducing more and more fantasy elements, revealing the sword in stone. While the sword in stone is an Arthurian cycle staple, the playfulness of other elements in the chapter helps me see that your story is not a mere retell of Arthurian legend. I felt that the setting was cohesive and consistent, impacting how the characters acted and thought, how their names were chosen.

The biggest trouble I had while reading was a number of characters I was introduced to, and due to parallel stories, some of them duplicated one another's roles, making it harder to remember who was who for me. However, I could easily pick out Veyale as the main character and Hedal—as a love interest or friend to develop from a rival. Or even a potential antagonist. I found the setup satisfying for any eventuality.

I enjoyed the parallels between Veyale and Hedal in the training montage, and their obvious ambition. As I was closing the book after chapter 10, what I wanted to see the most was a win, however small, for Hedal, and 'save the cat' moment for Veyale.

Good luck with developing your story and hope these notes are helpful.