A Piece of poetry

Revelation

I was dreaming about life everlasting,
But I didn't think it would be so disgusting.
I saw my relatives dying from the plague.
I survived a great famine when people didn't even have bread.

My body was living without food and water,
But everything I knew is gone now.
I ended up living many years ago.
Now I just exist, not knowing where to go.

I've lived through countless wars and insurrections.
I could choose any direction.
But it's too late to change anything, - 
I've seen too much that shouldn't be seen. 

Is eternal life all I deserve?
No, believe me, it's a terrible curse! 
Why did I sign that contract then?
After all, it was all in vain. 
And yes, in paradise I've long been declared dead.