Jesse's Girl

Chapter 23

     I was confused. I wasn't bipolar, or anything related to being mental. I was just confused – to the highest possible extent.

    When I reminded myself that I didn't like Jesse, it felt as if I were lying to myself. As if I were in denial even. But wanting to vomit when he hugged me, or smiling when he kissed me – regardless as to where – confused the hell out of me. Was I happy or not?

    I shouldn't be, since I knew better – I should have always known better.

    I pulled aside the curtains beside my dresser, seeing white cotton looking snow cover the grass outside. There obviously wasn't enough to make a snowman, as I hoped for. And to add to that, there wasn't even enough to cancel school today, which I hoped for also.

    Turning around to face the room, my eyes landed on Jesse's jacket. Hanging from my desk chair, looking warm enough to sleep in.

    I didn't sleep in it, but God, did I wish I would've.

    Sighing, I picked up my bag, snatched Jesse's jacket off the desk chair, and walked out the door.

    Passing the archway of the kitchen, I said a quick farewell to my parents. My dad had been covered behind a giant newspaper. I knew him well enough by now to say he could care less about the news, but focused on the Garfield comics as if they were the only reason he read the newspaper in the first place. All the while, my mom seemed to be experimenting with the stove, and jumped about a foot in the air when something popped inside the skillet.

    When I showed up to school, the first thing I did was head straight to Jesse's locker. The last thing I wanted to do was bother him while he was in the bubble of his friends, just to throw him back his jacket.

    As I walked through the halls, I heard a giggle erupt from one of the classrooms. I turned around to see where exactly the source had come from, being nosy as to who it was also. But when the sound didn't come up again, I turned back around to look in front of me, though with my lack of processing things quickly, I clashed right into the wall.

    I looked up, as my bag fell to the floor and my stuff fell out, only to see that it was far from a wall – and far from being Jesse.

        "Oh my God, I'm sorry," I blurted out. Kneeling down to gather my belongings, I expected him to disregard me in my regular outfit, and walk past me. But instead, he knelt in front of me and helped.

        "You changed." I looked up at the sound of his voice. "Yesterday was just a phase, I assume?"

    I let out a wary smile. "You can say that."

    When I stuffed the remainder of my papers into my bag and stood up, I realized he had one – extending his hand out for me to grab it. I reached over and tried to pull it, but he wouldn't let go.

        "I saw Jesse and you after school yesterday." He stood up also, a small smile taking form on his lips.

    At the mention of Jesse's name, I looked down. "Good to know."

    I made an attempt at pulling the paper again, but failed miserably. "So does it mean that you two are a—?"

    Instantly, I shifted my gaze up to him. "No. And quite frankly, I don't believe it's any of your—"

        "Well, I think it's everyone's business as to who Prince Charming is dating."

    I recalled his name as Kale, remembering how cocky the tone of his voice seemed to be. His beige hair seemed to be darker than the last time I saw it, but I'd bet it was just because of the snow. "He's most likely dating someone, but it sure as hell isn't me."