She wanted to die.
He wanted to live.
•••
A hand grabbed onto my wrist, yanking me back just as the train rushed past, before I'd even had time to comprehend whether or not I'd carry out the action. I stumbled back into the person's chest, my hear...
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I hadn't expected to be in tears during my first date with Romeo, but considering my tendency to break down in front of him, it really shouldn't have been a surprise.
I hadn't realised how much I had been carrying until he offered to take on some of the load, and once I had started filling him in on what had happened since we had been apart, I comprehended just how much I was hurting. The two people who owed me the world seemed intent on continuously taking it out of my grasp, and I hadn't fully come to terms with the level of disappointment I felt until I had retold the events to Romeo.
My words were like the gush of oxygen into a burning building, and for the first few minutes of my storytelling I had felt as though I was slamming my head against the bathroom sink all over again, reliving every second as I tried to explain what had led me to the hospital in the first place. Gradually, the tears eased as the pain dulled away and my composure returned enough for me to continue eating as I spoke to Romeo.
It was by no means a conventional date, but the darkness of the room accompanied by our hospital meals and faint glow of moonlight streaming in while we cried and laughed together made me realise I wouldn't want it any other way.
"So then I left my mum in my room, and that's when I came to see you," I concluded, taking my last bite of the sandwich as I dropped the crust back onto the tray, glancing up at Romeo through my somewhat teary gaze as I sighed. "I don't know why I let myself believe that she could actually be a mum for once, instead of defending Him as always."
"Don't you suppose your mum just does the same thing you used to do?"
My gaze darted away from Romeo's as I took a sip of my drink, using the few seconds to recollect my thoughts, but immediately snapped back to meet his with an inquiring gaze upon hearing his words.
"I mean, isn't she just trying to run away from her problems too?" Romeo elaborated, leaning forward to pick up both our newly empty trays and sliding them onto the table next to his bed.
The moonlight cast shadows from his shaky movements as I followed his actions through the shapes on the walls, only returning to meet his onyx orbs once I felt him move to sit closer to me in the space our trays had previously occupied.
"Maybe she would rather believe your dad when he says he wants to change, rather than actually face the fact that she's been a victim of his abuse."
As Romeo's words sunk in I found myself nodding slowly in understanding, a wry smile crossing my lips. "Well, at least I know where I get it from!" I laughed bitterly, feeling a fresh set of tears fall from my eyes as I diverted my gaze from Romeo. "Like mother, like daughter, right?"
"But you're not like your mum, because you're not running anymore," Romeo corrected, reaching to hold my hand in his as I refused to lift my gaze, my head reeling from the weight of trying to process my mother's actions. "You've just told me all of this when you didn't have to; you could have ran away from your problems and not faced the truth, but you did it Cass."
