untouchable | park seonghwa

-9

         Lee Nana, she's in my class but by far one of the prettiest girls in school. She's always got her hair done, makeup done, nails done. She's on the girls dance team and dated not too many guys to be considered someone who gets around but enough to be experienced, kind and popular. A.K.A. Someone who would be a great match for someone like Seonghwa.

"President, Nana, what are you doing in here? Did you eat already?" I asked him, checking the time for how much is left of our lunch break. Ignoring the way Nana dramatically straightened herself up as if I had walked in on something, or that pit in my stomach seemed to drop lower. I see, so this is who he likes in my class. Either way, I can practically feel the way Seonghwa's eye's scrunch up when I call him by using 'President' but frankly I didn't feel comfortable using his name and it was better than using his last name.

"Sorry Jinah! I was distracting Seonghwa with the notes from our last committee meeting. I need him to sign and look over to make sure I didn't miss anything before turning them in and Mr. Kim wants them before class starts." Nana explained. But the way she looked at him made me feel queasy. Like the air suddenly got thick and I'd have to chew it if I actually wanted to get any air in my throat. When did they get so close that she calls him so familiarly?

"Oh, I see. Then I'll leave you to that." I left my bag on our couch and walked out of the room quickly. I went down the hall to the vending machine.

Why? I don't even know how I want to finish that question but just... Why? My stomach felt like throwing up, the image I had in my mind of what was happening before I got there makes me feel sick. I don't know how I'm supposed to eat like this. I decide to get three sandwiches, and three drinks. I walk back toward the student council room and hear giggling on the other side. I find myself hesitating to open the door. Should I just come back later? If he's actually interested in her I should step out of the way. I couldn't bring myself to even look at him when I was in there. It's none of my business who he gets involved with anyway, we're really just classmates. I never cared in the past.

        The door opens on its own, "Jinah?"

        "Ah, hi." I looked up at Seonghwa, who was holding my backpack in his hand, "I'll trade you."

        I offered two sandwiches and his milk. "That's for me?"

        "Yeah. You haven't eaten yet and lunch is about to end. If you wanna make it through the rest of your day you need to eat." I scolded him. He smiled and held out my backpack straps to help put it on. I accepted the help while putting one of the sandwiches that I expected to be mine in my mouth to free up a hand.

        "I thought I told you I was taking care of you now." He sighed, and it made my ears burn. I was glad my hair was down today so they were covered. When I finished putting my backpack on, he took the sandwich out of my mouth and his drink, and patted my head slowly like he had this morning. This time I got to feel it though, his warm hand completely covered my head. "Thank you, Jinah."

        "Yeah, of course." I said.

"I'll be back in a bit." He slipped past me a little too close for my liking. When he slipped past me I felt his hand graze my lower back. My knees felt so weak I swear they would give out if the door frame wasn't there. Am I being played? I have to be. Maybe I just didn't see it before. But I swear he was never this forward with me. I never noticed these things before. Am I really that lonely?

         "Jinahhhh~" Oh shit. Nana called me inside.

         "Hi, uh." I hesitated when I realize Seonghwa only took one sandwich when I got him two. "Here take this one, you haven't eaten either."

          "Thank you! You're the best, Jinah! Such a good friend." She jumped happily at the chance for a sandwich. Then she read the back and grumbled, "Ah shoot, actually I can't eat this."

          "Oh really? That's a shame. Why not?" I asked, sitting on the couch with my backpack still on.

          "I'm on a diet now! I have to prep for my auditions soon... plus..." she trailed off, twisting her hair, "There's someone I'd like to impress."

          "Is that so? Well good luck with your auditions. I'm sure you'll do really well." I smiled at her, I didnt wan't to hear anymore about this someone she wants to impress. I know what she'll say.

         "Vice President.. I have a question for you. Have you ever liked someone before..." she asked me so suddenly but with such a cute voice, suddenly I felt my body tense up, "So you have!"

"No, what?" I stumbled, I don't think I've ever let myself think that I actually like someone. Even Seonghwa right now, surely thats just a phase my heart will learn to let go.

"You SO have! You got all tense-y and fidgety just now! Ahh, so cute!" Nana laughed at me and sat next to me on the couch. I think this might be one of the first times someone besides Soobin or Wooyoung has called me cute.

"Well, I mean, duh! Who hasn't? It's not like I'm made of stone." I tried to make it more casual but she put her hands over mine as they were twisting the ends of my skirt.

"Who? You have to tell me! I can see you have someone you're thinking of right now..." She seemed so giddy as she tapped my forehead.

"I don't— uh.. I don't know. I always thought having a crush was a little silly for someone like me.." I sheepishly admitted, as if Seonghwa wasn't the only person in my head. How ambitious I am, she squeezed my hands tighter.

"And what kind of person is that?" She asked.

"I'm not particularly girly.. or pretty.. I've also never had any boy ever even suggest liking me. Not even as kids on the playground as a joke. I'm just generally hopeless at that stuff, to be honest." I explained it simply and as if it were obvious. To me, it was.

"Are you insane?!" She flicked my head.

"Ow!" I rubbed my forehead.

"Sorry! But you're an idiot!" She rolled her eyes, "Of course someone like you can have a crush? Everyone and anyone can have a crush. Nobody is stopping you from doing that much."

               "I—I know that! It's just that nobody's ever.. liked me like that. So I think I just try to stop myself from having crushes these days.. because it's not like it'll be reciprocated. That's what I meant by someone like me." I explained a little, "I think I'm just meant to be everyone's friend! And for now that's really okay."

               "Sooo... just because everyone else is dumb, you don't get to find your own fun? That makes no sense!" Nana huffed cutely by stomping her foot and crossing her arms, "Besides, you're so pretty. And you take care of the people around you so well. It doesn't make any sense nobody would have ever had a crush on you."

               "That's very nice of you to say, but it's true!" I tried to smile my best, "Is there a reason you asked me?"

              "Hmm.. I just like love! I hope to have a boyfriend soon, because I could tell he was in love with someone and I asked him and asked him and asked him again and turns out it was me! We've been on a few dates, but he's shy right now. I just have a good eye for matching people." She smirked at me, after loading that information in my head my jaw dropped. Who is the guy she's dating?

              "And you think I..? Do I look—" I touched my own face to make sure I wasn't heating up.

               "You look.." She leaned in to whisper in my ear: "In love."