ｂｒｅａｔｈｅ．{ʀ. ʜᴀʟᴇ}

14 | not my home

I think that Bella is in shock. 

Alice was smiling, and Jasper was handing her a five dollar bill. That pulled me out of my sorrows, even making me smirk a bit, "Are you betting on me?"

"We were until Alice beat me." Jasper smiled. "How are you guys?"

I looked over to Bella, curled up in her seat. A few minutes ago she was staring at me, in shock, and now she's fast asleep. 

"I'm..." I trailed off, sighing. "Bella is... sleeping."

"She needs it." Alice says confidently. 

"What's... what's going to happen Alice?" I asked, my hands twiddling in my lap. 

Alice takes a long sigh, looking into the rearview mirror, making immediate eye contact with me. "It's all up in the air right now. How long it will take, where we will go..."

"Who will survive?" I question, my voice shaky.

Alice hesitates. "Unclear."

"You don't need to worry." Jasper reassured me. "We're going to be okay. You're Rosalie's mate, that means that you're apart of the family."

I consider that for a moment. "Am I now in a cult?" 

Alice is smirking, I can tell she knows how to cheer me up. "Yes, basically."

I try to hold in my laughter, but my cheeks hurt, and soon Alice is laughing with me.

And even sooner after that, I start to see the orange sandy, rolling hills of Ariozna. 

It no longer felt like my home.

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Once we were settled in, at the hotel, things started to set in. Alice and Jasper were constantly on the phone with Carlisle, or randomly staring off into space. (I knew they were basically dead, but damn! They look like they are corpses!) 

I sat down on the foot of the bed, where Bella sat with her knees to her chest, trying to take up as little space as possible. I wish I could see inside her head, I wish i could understand her and help her. I wonder if she wishes the same for me. 

Eventually, I break the silence, saying, "You know, I'm depressed that the person I love isn't here, just like you, but... Bella, talk to me. I've been worried. I didn't want to tell you that I love her because I was scared." Tears well up in my eyes. "Please, Bella, I'm scared. I want her here, I need you to be my sister. I'm being a good sister."

Bella looks up finally, and holds open her arms and she places an arm around me, trying to comfort me. "I'm scared too."

I wipe my eyes, "We all are. You... don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not!" Bella says.

"Just making sure." I smile widely.

"I don't mind that you love Rosalie. In fact, I think thats good for you. She's always seemed oddly protective of you, it makes more sense now." Bella smiles down at me. "As long as you stop making fun of Edward."

I Chuckle and roll my eyes, "Fine."

"But you love her?" Bella asked. 

"Of course I do."

A tense silence settles over us after that. "They'll be okay, right?" I ask. I imagine Rosalie, her smiling face, her cold lips against mine. And then I imagine James chasing after her, overpowering her... hurting her. I shiver and shuffle closer to Bella. She doesn't answer. She stayed silent.