Chapter Forty-Five

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THORN

Her skin is getting paler. Her scent is changing. I can smell her body starting to. . . I hold my breath and I bring her hands to my mouth as I rest my elbows into the bed. I don't know whose cabin this is but I think it's Sky's.

I can smell her scent everywhere. It's nice. It's similar to Devon's when she was alive. It's the only thing that's holding me together.

Her eyes have been closed for too long. No matter how many times I beg, they still won't open. I'm not picturing her smile like I thought I would. I'm imagining her scowl. Oh, that scowl. When she narrowed her eyes just a tad and breathed out something close to anger but never all of it. She was never afraid to show that side of her.

She believed that I was the one that made her brave but she always had it. She had it from the moment she ran into those woods. Anyone that can leave their whole life behind is brave.

Maybe that's why I'm a coward. Because I just can't seem to let her go.

"Shadow is okay, so is Crasuel." Kira enters the cabin and nervously walks to my side. "A group have volunteered to go and get more of the herb, to be sure."

Something jingles in her hands and I see a flash of something shiny from the corner of my eye.

"I found this in Cole's cabin. It um. . . it belongs to her."

I look at the seal in her hand and I take it from her gently. I rub my fingers around it before I place it over Devon's head. Mates aren't usually buried with it, traditionally I'd take it back and keep it for a future mate. I don't think I'll ever be able to look a female in the eyes again.

"It wasn't the mating bond," Kira mutters. "The bond is severed, she's dead. You really did love her. It was real."

I hadn't thought about that until now. There is no bond keeping me tied to her anymore. Everything I feel, even if its numbness, is coming from myself.

"You're lucky in a way. Most of us will live the rest of our lives never knowing if it's real."

I don't feel so lucky. I hoped it had been the bond all along. Anything would be better than having to face these emotions.

"Thorn, look at me. You can't stay here. They need some time with her too."

She's right. I'm being selfish. Sky is out there right now, sitting on a bench with a ghostly look on her face. She's waiting to say goodbye.

I haven't said goodbye yet. I can't. We promised each other no goodbyes. The moment I do it, I know that it's real. That she's truly never coming back. And it's the same if I let any of them do it too.

"We're just going to go for a walk. She'll be right here when you come back. I promise." Kira extends her hand to me and I take it.

My sister leads me away, just like I did to her all those years ago when our father died. I protected her from the pain. I was there for her. Sky snaps out of her trance when we pass her and she numbly starts moving towards the cabin.

Dominic is sitting with his parents on a different bench. Devon's mother wipes her eyes and slowly stands, following Sky.

It feels wrong to not be with her. I start becoming irritated. I can't think straight until I'm next to her again.

"You can do this," Kira says. "Just one step at a time."

"I'm not a kid, Kira. Just leave me alone."

I walk away from her, away from everyone. Crasuel's pack still hate me and I receive some nasty scowls as I pass them. I sit with Pal for a while on the edge of the mountain.

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