impossible | 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙤

thirty-seven<3

athena pov

tw: weed, alcohol, and drunk athena<33(again ikr, enjoy these drunk and high scenes bro)

"bye! bye guys!" i smiled at sapnap and clay before walking out the front door.

i decided to explore for a bit. i hadn't really been around the place we were staying much.

i put my airpods in and turned left towards the woods.

"really? this song?" i whispered as the song 'this is home' by cavetown played in my head.

sad song. sad, sad song.

time skip

i hummed the tune of 'juliet' as the lyrics rang in my ears.

i hope that she, looks at me

and thinks shit he is so pretty

something i can't believe.

i was currently lay down on a thick tree branch in the middle of the woods. thinking. thinking ,thinking ,thinking.

i don't know what i was thinking actually. telling ranboo to go back to the way we were. ive wanted nothing but to be more than his friend for so long now, why did i fucking pussy out?

maybe i should just get drunk again and fess up. again.

honestly it doesn't seem like the worst idea...

no. if i get drunk i'll do it because i want to. not at the slight chance that maybe i'll confess too ranboo.

again.

i made my way off the tree branch and began walking back.

fucks sake.

do i have any weed left?

i really need some weed right about now.

i was about 10 minutes away from the... weirdly ginormous 'house' i was staying in, and then the song switched to 'medicine' by daughter.

honestly i do not remember putting this song in my playlist but it makes me cry every goddamn time. now i definitely need weed.

you've got a warm heart

you've got a beautiful brain, but it's disintegrating

from all the medicine.

was i crying? yes. for a validated reason though. this song is a different type of sad.

just as i thought it couldn't get worse, 'war of hearts' by ruelle began playing.

could there be a more relatable song??

i cant help but love you

even though i try not to

this is so dumb.

i sighed as i reached the door, wiping my eyes and turning off my music. spotify is supposed to be my therapy. not the fucking opposite. when i payed for spotify premium this is not what i should be getting.

i walked through the hallway and into the front room and sat down on the couch. next to ranboo.

honestly i did not think this through. ranboo and i haven't had a proper conversation since the other day.

i sniffled quietly as i pretended to be scrolling through instagram.

whenever i'm around him it's like i'm consumed by his presence. i genuinely just can't focus around him anymore.