Nothing But Bad

Fourty

Arden
...

   It was quiet and awkward after that conversation. Though we slept on the same bed together, it had felt as if we were separated by the world.

   I couldn't sleep. Nerves were the things to blame. Being this near to him, tomorrow, everything.

   I don't know how long until it took me to drift off, but not longer after that I had woken up to the sunlight.

   I'm woken to the sight of his back. Don't touch it, I scolded myself. Don't you dare.

   My finger was only millimeters away, until he stirs causing it to fling back to my side. He turns, facing me. His dark lashes still closed.

   Don't touch him.

   I don't don't look away as his eyes flutter open. A lazy smirk reaches his lips. "You look like a freak staring at my while a sleep."

   I was a freak, in the sheets.

   I reward myself a mental pat on the back for not saying that sentence out loud. He causes so many dirty thoughts. You wouldn't even imagine the dreams I've had of him.

   "I'm..."

   "Scared." He finishes before I can answer.

   "Don't go into my head."

   "It's written all over your face."

   "There's so many things that could happen today. I could die, worse I could be trapped. I'm scared."

   "I know." He whispers.

   "Are you?" I whisper back.

   His brows pinch together. "Why would I be scared?"

   "I don't know, I guess." I move to turn away, but his hand stops me.

   "You want me to be scared." He must've sensed my disappointment from his words before.

   "Is that a bad thing? To want someone to be scared of losing you. Because yes, I want you to be scared. I want you to be terrified."

   I turn my body, sitting up. I don't know why I did this to myself. Why I say all these things, why I expect something out of him. When he's told me it wasn't going to happen countless of times.

   "It was the night at the ball." His words cause me to stop. "I was talking to my father, you were talking to my mother. She had said something, something to make your cheeks blush a bright red. I was trying not to pay attention, but I always had to pay attention to you. It was hard not to. I was so curious what made you blush like that. So curious why you were looking at me so differently than before. I had used my powers. I don't know how, but it was if everyone's emotions had cleared a path just for yours. Then it hit me all at once. That was the first time you had looked at me with no hate at all."

   "That's not true, I've not hated you for a while and..."

   He stops me, "All those times you have claimed to hate me or even the small times you have claimed not to, there had always been a little thorn of hate. Stuck so small, you couldn't even notice. It was always there, I felt it. This was the first time there truly was no hate, not even hidden in deep. Love, that's all I felt. That terrified me. But this, what could happen today, losing you all again? It petrifies me to the point I'm scared it will kill me."

   I turn and look at him. "I wish I could see into your head."

   He smiles softly, but still with two dimples. "No you don't, that would petrify you."

   I'm about to answer him, but a knock interrupts. There's always someone to interrupt, it's starting to frustrate me.

   I get up quickly, putting on a robe. Will, sits up. I'm the one to open the door. Christian, Levi, and Gwen all stood standing. I open the door wider signaling them to enter.

   "I see you're not ready." Christian smiles.

   "Busy night?" Gwen smirks looking at Will. I try so hard not to blush, so hard. But sometimes you try, and don't succeed. This was one of those times.

   "I'll get dressed now." I roll my eyes, heading to my closet. I change quickly into a set of clothes. Before heading to the bathroom, I've decided to do my hair there away from all the people. I needed time to think. Process what he had told me.

   A knock sounds at the door, thinking it's Gwen. I tell the person to come in.

   I'm shocked to see Levi. He gives me a small small, before shutting the door. "I'm sorry," Were his first words to me.

   "What for?"

   "I have been awful to you Arden." He says, walking to me. I put down the brush and turn to him. We were once so close, and we have done nothing but become distant.

   "I understand," I say. "I got Gwen hurt, and I'll forever be..."

   "No," he interrupts me. "I was never mad at you for that. That was never your fault. That battle was inevitable."

   Confusion forms on my face. "Then what for?"

   "I've wanted nothing more than to see everyone I love happy." His face is filled with guilt. "Gwen, William, you, but I can't forget Lily." I try not to react at the mention of her. "She's my sister, my twin."

   "I get it." I did, even not knowing Skyler that much. I will always have a bond with her like no other, I've always had one.

   "I wanted her happy the most, more than me. But her happiness involved Will. And so did yours. Both of yours cost the other theirs. I always felt like I was betraying her every time I saw you two sharing glances at the other,  while the other wasn't paying attention. I always felt guilty when I thought that you two should just grow a pair, and tell the other what they felt. I was so close to you before Arden." He brings his hand to my arm and squeezes it gently. "I'm sorry for letting our friendship fade."

   I grab his hand, with mine. "We have always been friends." I smile at him. "We will always be friends. It's your sister, I understand why you acted the way you did."

   "I'm sorry."

   "I'm sorry that my happiness is at the cost of hers." I sigh letting go of his hand. "Not that I will get mine anyways, if that brings any comfort to the situation."

   He smiles, "It doesn't, but thanks for trying."

   I laugh, looking at the door. "You know, there's a chance I could never see you again after today, any of you."

   "I know."

   "If I don't make it," I whisper. "Will you tell him thank you for me." I look at Levi's thoughtful face. "And that he was right."

   "About?"

   "He had told me we were each other's first taste of freedom. He showed me what it was like to be truly free, even if it was a lie."

   "You're going to be ok." Levi says, I could tell his words were to convince the both of us. We had no idea the possibility of what could happened.

   "Okay," I smile. "But if I'm not."

   "I'll tell him." He reaches for me hugging me so tightly, I wouldn't forget. I hugged him back. I missed him, so much. He was the first person to show me kindness ever. The moment we got to the school, he was the one who stuck around me. No matter how many times I told him to fuck off.

   "If I do come back," I have to pull away for my voice not to be muffled. "Don't tell him any of this."

   "If I did, he'd start to think you had actually cared for him." He teases.

   We both look at the door, one that separated the both of us. "I don't." A lie that's so obvious for what it was. I didn't try to even hide it.

   "Keep telling yourself that sunshine." My heart warms at his old nickname for me.

   "He know how I feel." I confess. "I just need to say the words."
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