9| apologies

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SHE WOKE UP ON her desk. The chill of the morning made her shiver as she drowsily looked around her office, noting that the night had passed through the window on her right. It wasn't that surprising, considering she had spent the whole night reading away. The books were stacked on her desk all around her, all widely varying in subject. It didn't matter, as long as she kept her mind busy she would study anything.

She yawned, stretching out. Thankfully she had gotten some sleep, even though it had probably been no more than an hour. Fatigue tried to pull her eyelids closed as she walked towards the bathroom, sinking away in a scalding hot bath until she couldn't feel her skin anymore. On her way to the prison she hummed along to the piano music in her car, somehow feeling like today was going to be a good day. She was walking through the prison halls with a book in hand when someone snatched it from her, frowning as he held it up.

"A history of arms and armor?" Dante said," what are you reading this for?"

"I was just curious," Helene said, glancing up at him," what are you doing here?"

Dante paused for a moment before scraping his throat to speak. "I'm supposed to be by your side."

"You're dutiful," she smiled, taking the book out of his hands as she absentmindedly glanced at the knives on the cover," it's an admirable characteristic."

"I wonder," he murmured," if I had been as dutiful as needed, I wouldn't have ended up here, wouldn't I?"

"And then you wouldn't have created this wonderful friendship with me," she chuckled.

"You mean I wouldn't have a insanely clever blonde psycho-analyzing me all the time," he corrected her.

"So you think I'm clever?" she said.

"I know you're clever," he replied," everyone does, it's why you're here. Your methods are a bit strange perhaps, but you're the one who has been able to stick with Parker the longest."

"I don't know if that's necessarily an achievement," she said," the fact that I've studied so long only to participate in mind games."

"Isn't that what the whole world is about anyway?" Dante said," at least you've studied ways to play along, all I'm doing really is improvising and hoping that I don't fuck everything up again."

"What's your relationship like with your mother?" Helene asked. He stopped walking at once, causing her to halt as well as she turned around to him, eyes wide. How had she slipped back into her patterns again without even noticing? "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. You're not my patient."

"It's fine," he said, shaking his head," I don't care about that. I mean, I do, I guess, but you shouldn't be apologizing." He anxiously rubbed his neck as he turned away. "Fuck, I'm bad at this. Anyway, I'm sorry."

"For what?" she said, even though she remembered her last words to him well.

"I didn't mean it," he said," when I told you I didn't like you. I was angry, at my mother, at this whole fucking place, at the serial killer they're treating better than the little boy who sold drugs as his only means to survive. This whole justice system makes me angry, but most of all, I make myself angry as well. So I'm sorry, for lashing out."

"Does that mean you like me now?" she asked, voice light.

"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged," I know we aren't friends, but we don't need to be. I'll have your back as your bodyguard here, I just want you to know that."

"I do know," she replied softly.

"Alright," he said, passing her as he started walking again," now let's go to that patient of yours."

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