impossible | 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙤

forty-two<3

guys there's literally barely any chapters left i'm so sad right now bro. i'm just very attached to this story erm i hope you all read the next one tho

also i'm so sorry for the last chapter MUAHAHAH

athena pov(the next day)

today we are supposed to be having a party, for whatever reason. weed, alcohol, and for some reason karaoke.

yeah. a fucking- karaoke party?

no matter how tempting, i've promised myself not to drink or get high today. i'm trying not to do it so often.

right now i was in the car on the way to the stores with ranboo.

we haven't said a word since yesterday.

i don't even know what to say. we were so close. we were going to kiss.

and i wish we did.

it was so close- i could've just closed the gap. so could he! but neither of us did and then it was too fucking late.

i don't even know why he offered to come with me.

i sighed as i pulled into the parking lot.

"here." i breathed, handing him the list. "i'm going to grab a shopping cart."

we both got out the car and did what we were supposed to do.

timeskip

(a/n yall i am writing this at 2am i have to get up so early tomorrow idk why i do this to myself pls. i've been watching anne with an e all night i'm on season 3 please help😭 i'm losing my mind)

i got back to the house with all the things, still barely having said a word to ranboo at all. and he didn't try to speak to me either. i don't know what to even think anymore. does he feel the same does he not? people keep saying 'it's so obvious' and 'it's so clear he feels the same'

but surely if he felt the same he would mention the fact that we almost kissed last night? but nope. not even a fucking word.

i looked over at sapnap who was smoking a joint. i was looking more so at the joint.

it wouldn't hurt. would it?

fuck, no. fuck no! i'll make it all worse. more than i already have.

it's so nice though. it takes my mind off things.

okay. i'll go the night, most the night, and if ranboo doesn't bring up a single word about the ... whatever you want to call it now. then i'll let myself get high. and maybe drunk.

that's fair. that's fair, right?

plus, there's no chance i'll run into ranboo again. no chance in hell. it's happened twice already there's like. the chances are so low it's basically zero, right?

"helloooo" someone snapped in front of my face. "you in there?"

sapnap.

i swear he was over there a second ago.

"want some?" he put his hand out with the joint in it.

i just looked at it again.

fuck i really want to.

"not yet." i sighed , sitting down on the couch behind me. "i'm so fed up of all this bullshit."