[ Discontinued ] 𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕷𝖆𝖈𝖊

①⑨ - 𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

𝚆𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚗𝚊 𝙶𝚘𝚓𝚘

It was silent, as if the only noise that could be heard was a white noise. I feel this moment where I keep staring at this ceiling, will it be enough for her? Would it be enough to make her happy? Finally being able to cosplay the character she loves, but what if it turns out as a complete failure. I don't think I can afford to see the look on her face of disgust. 

The unwashed dishes, the trash everywhere in the kitchen, the clothes on the dryer filling up the machine, the sink making its noise, the sound of water, dripping. Pat, pat, pat. 

Marin Kitagawa, stands across the street coming closer while staring softly at my home. "...I thought He'd be here after work, but.. doesn't look like it... could be he went to check on his grandpa and hasn't gotten back yet.. Exams are over, so I'll bet he's taking his time there.. he hasn't read any of my messages." She continues to stare at the building, she turns her gaze away and starts walking out of that street carying a bag. "Guess I'll eat 'em by myself. Better head home.." 

While the moon hangs high up in the sky to show its moonlight over the sunshine walking home, a dark and eerie silence of the house. And up the staircase, Is me, Wakana Gojo and a deep sleep Y/n, resting beside my arm while I had my hand over my eyes.  Her soft snores takes over the white noise, filling the room while the cloths we bought were scattered around. 

My head hurts, I feel gross. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. My brain isn't working at all, I haven't gotten any real sleep for a while now. I couldn't sleep even when I was lying down. The costume is, almost there. Though Y/n said she'll be fine while I took a rest, her hands are covered with band-aids.. and.. I didn't make it in time.

Y/n and Kitagawa-san was really looking forward to it too... I bet she'll be sad.., I glance over at my desk, books after books, cloth after cloth, needles over needles, boards, chalks, scissors all on my desk.. my doll- Gramps doll.. 'My brushes.. bring me my brushes too.'

...Brushes, How many days has it been since I picked mine up, a less masculine voice took over, my voice when I was a kid.. while I was thinking back at Gramps.. 'Grandpa, why are you taking your brushes on your trip?'

'Well If I don't work with my hands every day, I get rusty. If you slack off for a day... It takes three whole days just to get ya feel for it again, y'know?' How many days have I gone without using them, I wonder? I couldn't even use them right to begin with, and now, maybe.. I'm just not cut out for this. Loving something a lot doesn't mean you'll be good at it... hard work doesn't always pay off. At this rate, What if becoming a kashira-shi isn't in the cards for me? What'll I do..?

She was- the both of them were counting on me for that outfit, and I couldn't even get it ready in time. Why can't I do this right? Why am I such a waste of space? I glance over at Y/n-san as I felt tears in my eyes, my vision hazy, I start seeing those circles, going in and out. All.. All I do.. All I am... is just...Mediocre..

I grip tightly to the cloth that was covering my eyes, the tears falling off my eyes, tighten my jaw then slowly raising my other hand to cover my mouth.  ".....Wah... Kh! ... ugh.. wa.. guh... ha..ha-aha... u..khu.." I cried, I'm such a worthless wanna be kashira-shi.. I couldn't even do a costume.. it's all too much for me.. what will Y/n think of me- no what doe she think of me? 

'...Gramps?'

'Hm?'

'Ins't making Hina dolls every day... kinda..hard? don't you get sick of it or anything..?'

'Wah! ha! ha! You bet it's hard! It ain't the sorta thing you can stick with just 'cos you like it! but that said...' Gramps glanced at me while I continue to ponder over what he's saying.

'It's 'cos I.. love it.. that I can hang in there when the goin' gets tought.. When I see the smiles on the customers' faces... It makes me think "Yeah, I'm glad I'm doing this." '

I looked up at him while he adjusted his glasses. 'I wanna make 'em happy. That's why I can stick it out even when I'm beat.' The tears kept flowing over and over, I couldn't stop it. 

'Aiyah.. Wakana! stop being so stubborn and let me help you already!' 

'C'mon! let's go somewhere! I wanna take a good picture of you!' 

'As long as you can create wonderful dolls.. It doesn't matter! I will always.. always be here for you! cheering you on to the very end! no matter what happens!'  I softly caress Y/n's head and move the pillow onto her underneath, making sure she's comfortable then placing the blanket over her. 

I sat up and collect all of my thoughts and grab the cloth I use. Wiping the tears softly, flapping the cloth gently then wrapping it around my forehead tightly. I force myself to stand up and stagger to my desk. 

I couldn't see clearly with the tears in my eyes. So I wiped them off. Pushing the needle into the cloth with the rose. "Scisors... scisors? where'd I leave 'em this time...?" I turn my back on the head piece. "Khuch... guu.. kh..." I wipe my eyes once again and turn to the headpiece, lifting it up and placing the thread between my teeth, swaying it a bit and cut it. 

I continue to sew it till dawn. I frequently glanced over Y/n, sleeping so peacefully brings a smile onto my face. I can do this. 

╭─────╮

𝕷𝖎𝖒𝖊

Wakana Gojo
It's finished. 

 Wakana Gojo

I'm going to sleep.

╰─────╯