(closed) I'm bored and I have writer's block, what better way to hit two birds with one stone than doing a review book which I will most likely abandon but oh well.
Welcome to this book, created through an impulse decision by me.
If you want to have...
First Impression As I started I immediately thought how well written this book is.
I like how the scenes flows from one to the other while there are scenes that felt like it could build up to a more emotional moment, (which I'll specify later) the book at the start is pretty good.
I do have a nitpick, of course, but it's minor.
The intro:
It starts with the seat creaks. But maybe you could change it up a bit.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
this is the start of Forever or a long long time. A book I like a lot, and use as reference a lot as well.
I think if the start began with something similar to (curse long legs cuz they're uncomfortable when travelling to long places in cramped places or something like that).
Just like the start for the book, it starts with a sentence that will relate to their current situation.
What you wrote had that intention but my suggestion is to perhaps rearrange it.
Pacing You do well in this category actually, the constant fights between the mother and Celia is written well that I could actually sense the tension in those scenes.
I do think the parts for Brynn could be used for the emotional build up as I've mentioned earlier. Brynn seems to be the person to use humor to deflect tension and stress so I think she would be constantly be joking out of habit.
Or is used as a coping mechanism.
(These are just suggestions and opinions so take it with a grain of salt.)
It was stated that she does that and I think (as someone who also uses humor to deflect rising tension) She wouldn't break until it is clear that the tension can't be avoided or deflected by anything.
Again, these are just thoughts on that. If I understood that part wrong, I apologize.
Plot It has a mysterious twist to it and doesn't seem to be a typical love story so I like that. I like cliche love stories when done right but it's also refreshing to have a mystery vibe mixed in to the romance. (unless this is not romance, I only read 5 chapters so I'm not sure abt that)
I have no nitpicks about the plot, I think it's promising, intriguing, and has an interesting story to tell.
Characters I admit, Celia can annoy me at times which I think is a good thing. When a character shows flaws and depth I always admire how well written they are.
There is an unspoken part of Celia that hasn't been put to light but is visible on certain moments. The way she deals with her current situations is very humane and in turn can come off as annoying.
So I like Celia as a character from a writers perspective as she has so much room for closure and growth through out the book
but as a reader, gosh she can be irritating (again, I think it's good that she can spark emotion to the reader. Makes the reading experience more memorable)
Trevor is mysterious. and it's not only because it's stated by people around him.
So you did the entire, show not tell pretty well!
Dialogue
Also really great, when reading it, it sounds so much like actual movie dialogue and every thing they say has meaning and the conversations don't just cut off, the characters converse and have to something to say about that scene's topic.
Descriptions
You did great in this part as well. There are a few parts where it could use some work (the start) but it's very minor and honestly it can be ignored.
Blurb This is the part that sold it honestly. The mystery mentioned made me ask so many questions that I wanted to know what the blurb meant by the truth about Trevor and everything behind Elle.
It made me theorize already and I think this is the best part of it.
This type of intrigue can hook readers in. I admit, this blurb is the best I've read so far.
Is it compelling Yes, definitely.
Overall I really don't have much to say. this book is good and it deserves the recognition it is getting.
Honestly, this is the type of books wattpad should be making into movies. Heh.
Anyway, I think this review isn't helpful writing wise but I hope it was encouraging and was able to appreciate your wonderful book.
I hope it wasn't rude in any way (especially the suggestion parts)
That is all for this review, have a good day/night and farewell!
