Author: @kikibtsstan
Reviewer: @blackfluteoflove
Cover: 4.5/5
Title: 4/5
Summary: 4/5
Grammar/ Vocabulary: 8/15
Use of literary techniques: 8/10
Character Development: 13/15
Story acr: 14/15
Writing Style: 8/10
Plot + Originality: 7/10
General Satisfaction: 8.5/10
Total Score: 79/100
Review note:
This is a beautiful story that left me smiling. I really love the realistic characters here- well except Fiona who isn't a human but she is more lovable than everyone else. I only have a few things to suggest. First, the first two paragraphs of the prologue are the same as the book's blurb. Changing it would be better as that, in my opinion, seems repetitive and draw the reader away. Another thing is that sometimes, there is too much happening in just a single sentence. Breaking it down into smaller sentences would better engage the reader as then it would be easier to understand. This is especially in the case of the early chapters. For example, there is this paragraph
Without thinking she shot an arrow and it was blocked by a sword, jumping from tree to tree to dodge his lightning bolts she grunted as her foot was struck and then shot thorns from her fingertips until she hit the ground. [Prologue]
In this paragraph, too much is happening. The protagonist is being attacked, is attacking, and is also getting hurt. But as a reader, one has to engage too much to understand this. And readers are always lazy. So, the lesser they put their efforts to understand things, the happier they are.
Lastly, in grammar/vocabulary, I have given an eight because I think the manuscript needs to be edited. There are unnecessary words and repetitions like there was 'smirk' and 'chuckle' in the very same sentence, also germs instead of gems.
Oh, and before I forget, did I mention that I absolutely love this sweet story? Also, one last thing. Chapter 35 seemed a bit deviated. Like I really felt something is missing. The story I was expecting was somehow forgotten and before I knew it, Louis was made aware of Fiona's situation. I mean I am glad that he did not get upset but, I wanted to know what happened there in between.
Apart from these, this is an amazing, stress-relieving, and sweet story to read. I would definitely continue reading it. Thanks, hugs, and big cheers to the author for penning down this sweet love story. I hope you stay motivated to write and stay happy.
-Thank you
BINABASA MO ANG
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