Bits of Chemistry | ✓

Kabanata 48

TW: death

Kabanata 48

The following months went by and the both of us shared our ideas on how to co-parent. While Leven does try to make us closer, gumagawa rin naman kami ni Etienne ng paraan upang mawala ang awkwardness sa aming dalawa. We wasted six years already. . . I really just want to try to make it right this time.

"Do you want me to announce Leven? Sa company? Sa friends?" tanong ni Etienne habang nagbabate ng itlog.

I glanced at him, one eyebrow being lifted. "You have friends?"

"Adren? Paulene? Arrisea? The list goes on?" he shrugged.

Napangisi naman ako. I'm sure he only mentioned three because he didn't have a lot of friends. Agad na napawi ang ngisi ko nang makita ko na nanginginig si Etienne habang inaabot 'yong cutter. I couldn't blame him, something traumatic did happen to him and most people acted like he was part of it — he wasn't a victim.

Nakakalungkot lang na ang coping mechanism n'ya ang ang paglimot sa nangyari. Most of us, even way before, do avoid the topic because it might trigger some painful memories for Etienne. Ayoko rin na ibalik siya sa mga alaalang binaon siya sa lungkot.

Kinuha ko ang cutter sa kan'yang kamay. "Saan mo gagamitin?"

"Open," tipid na sagot n'ya at tinuro ang isang lalagyanan na mukhang mahirap buksan. It's an ingredient for his scrambled eggs. Nagtataka nga ako dahil scrambled eggs lang pero ang daming pakulo.

Binuksan ko ito gamit nung cutter. I saw Etienne looking anxious, nginitian ko naman siya pinakitang hindi ako nasugatan. He sighed, out of relief.

I normally would think that we were too close right now. Pero masaya ako na kahit papaano ay ginagawa namin ang tungkulin namin nang hindi tinatanong kung ano ba talaga kami.

"I have to go," paalam ko kay Etienne habang tinutulungan n'ya si Leven na maglagay ng mga worksheets sa bag nito.

Leven has Kumon today. Pero mas excited si Leven na tikman ang baon na ginawa ng papa n'ya para sa kan'ya.

"You decorated his lunch box?" Puna ko nang makita ang kinuha ni Etienne na tupperware. It felt a little too cute, parang hindi siya ang gumawa. The rice was shaped into bunnies, the eggs into ducks, and the main dish was reshaped into a bear. Nougat candies were even turned into roses to appease the entire look of the lunch box.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapatikhim. Anong laban ng sunog na chicken nuggets at nagpapawis na hotdog ko riyan? Hindi naman maarte si Leven sa pagkain pero mamaya ay baka maghanap ng gan'yan sa akin ang anak ko.

"Bakit gan'yan ginawa mo?" tanong ko kay Etienne habang nilalagay n'ya sa bag ni Leven ang baon nito.

He pouted, and promptly his mood went sour. "Hindi ako nagpapatalo sa dinosaur."

"Gago," I laughed. Mabuti na lang na wala na si Leven sa sala.

We have helpers inside the mansion. Tuluyan na rin kaming nakalipat dito at madalas ay nandito si Tita Ellise. She guides me when it comes to other duties that I overlook. Nakakatuwa dahil ginagabayan n'ya ako nang hindi sinisisi sa akin ang nangyari.

Sana gano'n din si Dayanara. Up until now, she's contacting me to save their faces. Kung hindi lang siguro dahil kay Mareena ay baka matagal ko na siyang na-block sa lahat ng contacts namin. I wanted to live without them but Mareena is someone that I can't simply cut off. Hindi naman siya kasalanan ang pagiging toxic ng magulang namin. She's also too young to experience this. Napapabungtonghininga na lang ako nang wala sa oras.