Chapter Song: Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
(Because that's the closest I can get to rickrolling you guys on the day where it is expected to rickroll everyone you know: April Fools Day)
Evelyn
I think if people in horror movies possessed more than two brain cells, they'd live to the end of the movie.
If the killer is standing in the kitchen behind the stairs, don't run up the stairs. Turn around and run out the door. If the door won't open for whatever bizarre reason, then run up the stairs, lock a door, and jump out of the window and run.
Honestly, it's not that hard.
But what should also be taken into consideration is the adrenaline and fear of having an axe Murder break into your house and the fear makes you not think irrationally.
But still.
Just run. It's like in Zombieland. Rule #1: Cardio.
I say all of this like I wouldn't be one of the idiots hiding in a pantry from a murderer. But I truly don't think it'd be me.
I've seen enough horror movies to know how not to die in the first five minutes of the movie.
So, I'm good. However, I don't know if Michael is as versed in horror movie survival skills as me. If he is, then this'll be about fifty percent less fun. If he isn't, then this is shaping out to be afternoon that'll either end with me on the floor laughing or Michael in the hospital after he has a heart attack.
~~~
I texted him to meet me in my apartment today.
Now, in a completely non stalker way, I'm watching him from behind a plant just outside the door of my apartment.
He knocks on the door.
Me: Hey
Me: The door is unlocked, you can come in.
Michael 🦇: Okay
I watched Michael reach for the doorknob and pull on it, the knob coming off in his hands.
"Shit," I heard him mutter.
He looked side to side and I caught a glimpse of his face. His eyes were wide and he looked a little bit worried.
Once he deadpanned at the door knob I couldn't contain my laughter.
Michael whipped around, frazzled to see me laughing on the staircase.
"What..."
"The doorknob," I started in between wheezing breaths, walking towards him, "It falls off all the time."
Michael had a hint of a smile that he was trying his best to hide. "You...pranked me?"
I put my hand on his shoulder, "Happy April Fools Day."
"You got me."
"That I did, darling." I replied, satisfied beyond words.
"I did bring this for you," he held up a plastic bag, "Kind of as an 'I'm glad you're feeling better present,' but now I'm reconsidering."
"Michael, I am truly sorry for scaring you, but it is April Fools, it's what the day entails."
"Fine," Michael grumbled. "You can have it."
YOU ARE READING
Evelyn
Romance"Why do you always look like that?" "Like what?" "Like you hate every person in this room." "That's because I do." "Why? What did these people do to you?" "Nothing. Yet." "You're a pessimist. Every morning you come in, order black coffee, and glare...
