marvel oneshots x reader [Requests Closed]

sometimes life sucks(request)

Request ~ AshMaximoff1

Reader ~ 17 he/him

Trigger warning: mention of self harm, mental health problems, and suicide mentions

Civil War Cast finds out that reader is harming himself and is not in a great place and help him through it
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*y/n's pov*

I was not looking forward to today. Today had already started off bad and it just keeps getting worse

First I woke up late so I had to rush and get ready, then there was traffic on the way there so I was extra late, AND I keep running into things and my head is filled with a million thoughts and well you know what that can lead to...

On the plus side I'm 10 days clean. No new cuts. No nail marks no nothing 10 days of not worrying about someone walking in on me cutting, 10 days where I felt like I was incontrol and not the other way around, and 10 days of actually feeling better.

Like of course it's not all rainbows and shit but just being able to feel like im incontrol makes me feel the tiniest bit better

And believe me during the 10 days I almost relapsed a lot but then I thought about my family and the cast and it actually helped ground me and gain control again

But then today has been like a sucker punch to the gut everything keeps going wrong and I'm not 100% mentally here

"Hey kid a little late are we" Downey joked as I ran into the room

"Hey guys I'm so sorry I slept in then there of course had to be traffic and then on top of that I kept running into things" I quickly say

"Its okay you aren't the only one late we are still waiting for Scar" Evans smiled

"Okay cool" I say flopping down onto the couch

"How was having the day off yesterday?" Lizzie asked coming to sit beside me

"It was boring I just stayed in the hotel room the whole time, watching movies and eating" I shrugged

"At least you got to relax and catch up on some sleep" she said with a soft smile

"Yeah" I lied

That night was one of those times I was talking about earlier. I almost relapsed, my mind kept telling me things that weren't true and even though I knew they weren't true I still believed them but after grounding myself I calmed down but I couldn't sleep anymore so I stayed up the rest of the night

Lizzie looked like she wanted to say something but before she could Scar came rushing into the room

"Sorry I'm late" she said while catching her breath

We all said it okays and whatever before going to get ready for the day

*Time skip to when filming is done for the day*

I was jetting ready to leave when I heard someone talk

"hey y/n can we speak to you?" Seb says

I turn to look at them, they all had this look on their faces ot wasn't pity but sadness?

"Yeah is everything okay?" I ask confused

"Um well we were going to ask you that" Robert says confusing me even more

"I'm fine....why?" I ask

"Here let's sit down" lizzie says wrapping her arm around my back pulling me over to the couch

I was now getting nervous. What did they want to talk about? They couldn't know could they? I made sure to cover the scars with my own stuff before going into the costume and makeup trailers to avoid anyone finding out...they can't know

"What's going on?" I ask looking around to see who was here

Scarlett, Lizzie, Robert, Evans, Tom(holland), and Sebastian were standing in front and around of me

"We uh we just want to check in" Chris says with a sad smile

"Well I mean you see me everyday I'm fine tired but fine" I lie

"You know you can talk to us right?" Scarlett asks placing her hand on my shoulder

"Yeah of course I know that....what is the all about?" I ask

"Kiddo we saw your arms" Robert says With a frown

I snap my head to him my mouth hanging open a little bit trying to figure out what to say

They know. I was so careful who the fuck could they know

"Oh those old things there's nothing abnormal about them" I say letting out a nervous chuckle

"Kiddo why didn't you tell us?" Sebastian says from beside Robert

"There was nothing to tell"

"Why?" Lizzie says gently. She still had her arm around my back and had pulled me into a side hug

I sighed knowing that there was no use in lying anymore

"Sometimes life sucks" I sigh looking down

When I do finally look up they all share the same sad look.

"How long?" Tom asks

"Uh well I started when I was 15...right after I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression I was at a really low point in my life and I didn't see a way out...um when I was 16 it got really low I wouldn't leave my bed, I only left to go to the bathroom and uh during that time I was left only with my thoughts and those are really dangerous" I pause looking to see their reactions

They were all giving me their full attention letting me know they were there

"That day I uh let those thoughts consume me and I couldn't see an end so I went to the bathroom and grabbed my mom's pills and took they all...my mom found me 5 minutes later and called 911..after that I was hopped up on antidepressants and a whole bunch of other drugs  and could barley do anything so the cutting stopped as well as everything else..and then I stopped taking my meds got low again and started cutting it uh made me feel alive, seeing the blood let me know that I was living and it allowed relief to flood through my body" I said starting to tear up

When I looked at them they all had tears I there eyes or were already crying

"When was the last time you did it?" Lizzie asks hugging me tighter

"10 days....I found a new way to deal with it I guess...or ground my self so I knew I was incontrol" I said while playing my hands in my lap

"Kiddo" Evans said as a tear ran down his face

They pulled me and lizzie up and group hugged me while saying how strong I was, that they were there for me, or that they were proud.

This reminded me just how lucky I was to have them

*Time skip to 8 months later*

Today was a day that I was really proud about. Today was the day that marked 8 months and 10 days of me being clean

After telling the cast they were always checking in on me and they were really protective and wouldn't let me have anything sharp in my trailer or hotel room so I wouldn't be able to harm myself. I mean like there were a lot of other things I could've used but I wanted to stay clean It felt good to know I wasn't cutting.

They would always tell me how proud they were and how strong I was and they would tell me how much I matter to them and what not

Pretty cheesy but I'm very happy I met them because with how it was going I probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't

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Words ~ 1279

Hey lovelys that was a pretty deep one...if anyone of you and I mean ANYONE is feeling this way or need someone to talk to I'm always here to talk or listen whatever you want

Know that I love you. And that you matter!

Love you all <3

Until next time :)