It Wasn't Supposed To Happen

90

I love you...

Aniruddh had known there were many ways to say it without actually using these three words. But he had not known it would feel so shaking to see it. Witness it. By the one person he loved so dearly. Bondita had practically confessed in front of his face her true feelings in the most heart breaking way. It had kept him awake the whole night. He had always known of her pain, had always felt it. In the way she looked at him as if hoping for something from him, in the way she let her heart go into a frenzy when he held her. He could feel it was a torture to her sometimes. A sweet one. She sometimes got too scared to be close to him knowing it would give her a false sense of love. But at the same time her heart didn't want to step away. He had felt that struggle she put herself through when she was in his arms.

But it had become too much for her finally to keep it to herself. She expressed her pain for the first time to him. He had thought her infatuation would melt away as she grew up. And she did grow up. She was now aware how problematic there age gap at present was where she was still in her mid teens and he was about to cross over thirty in few years. She was aware how toxic a child marriage is, how restraining it was for her. She even knew now he had acted more as father figure in her life till now than a husband, than an admirer. Aniruddh rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. A father figure. If not then an elder brother and if not even that, he was the man in her life.

It had all started because she had no man in her life. No father, no brother, no husband. He would have brought her home as an elder brother or a guardian. She would have run around calling him Dada. But it was not allowed. It was not allowed to have a relation as pure as that with an eight year old girl but it had stopped those daring feet that were stepping towards her the moment he filled her hair line with sindoor. Apparently it was ok to have a eight year old wife.

This was all so twisted. In the end he had too agreed on it. He had accepted her as a wife. With no regrets and no weight on his heart. He had weighed every pros and cons before deciding that. He had been doing so for two years. He had so many reasons that told him it was twisted to accept her as a wife but in the end it had not felt wrong. It had felt the only right thing that could be done. And he believed it. There's was a special case. Special goals. Special love. If he had understood it after being the one man behind the ban on child marriage, she definitely understood too. She had always wanted to be his wife. And it seemed she had truly now started to walk on that path with all her heart.

Aniruddh looked out of the window. It was dark. Every one was probably asleep. His eyes lost in memories. He had taught her to ride a bicycle right there in front of the haveli. " You have grown up so much Bondita..." He smiled as the cold air hit his face. " I can't tell you anymore...how to feel. What to feel."

' I love you...' Her voice echoed in his ears from that one time he had heard her confess out loud. " I wish I could say that to you too. Without hurting you..." He knew it would hurt her to hear it from him knowing that it meant different to him than it meant for her. But he knew... however different the origin of these words were for him, it was the deepest emotion he had felt for anyone. It came from a place no one could ever fill in his heart other than her.

The wind had picked up and Aniruddh could feel his eyes trying to hide themselves from the harshness of it but he resisted. His ears filled with the whispers of the air who were a witness to who knew how many secrets. And confessions.

" I love you Bondita..." He whispered, smiling... wishing the wind to take his words away...to carry them with it like it carried so many secrets.

Sampoorna had been feeling low these days. Bondita had not talked to her much since the day Aarti visited. And she now hated Aarti even more. She had thought that the woman might come between Aniruddh and Bondita but she had come between the sisters too. It was not like Bondita was shunning her. She knew Bondita had been stressed herself these days but Sampoorna could not help but worry. She put a hand on her belly as a tear escaped her eye. " I am so sorry baby...for being...a...a woman like this. A mother...no one loves. But I know...you will love me. Right...?" But she was not sure if the baby would be loved in this house.