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sixty one | gone

Elijah's POV

"So it's true," I whisper. A tiny, idiotic part of me was holding onto the hope that it wasn't. "And I was next? That—That is why you got close to me again."

Her silence tells me that I am correct.

"All of this was a lie." I run my hands through my hair, wanting to pull it out.

"No, it wasn't all a lie."

"So you didn't agree to kill me?" But I know she did. I heard the words leave her mouth.

"I agreed to it. But I wasn't going to! I swear—"

"You can swear on your own siblings graves and I still wouldn't believe a word you say." My fists clench. All this time. "You are . . ." No words. No words would be sufficient to describing the monster she is. She really tricked me in a way I never imaged she would. "Do I mean nothing to you?"

I don't want to know the answer. I suppose I already do.

This girl right here was my reason for getting out of bed every day. Aside from my sister, she's all that matters to me.

"Could you please let me explain?" Tears glitter in her eyes. I can barely nod. "When my parents left, I had nothing." She wipes her cheeks. "I went to Antonio looking for a job. I was desperate because I had no qualifications, no money to get me through university or help me survive. So I . . . I killed someone for him. I was scared and it haunted me. Almost drove me crazy. I told him I didn't want to do it anymore, but he got the murder on video and he kept making me do it. He threatened to show the cops. I couldn't stop. I was trapped and I—" None of it matters.

"When I asked you why you suddenly wanted to be my friend again and you said that I felt like home to you . . ." Those words meant everything to me. I squeeze my eyes shut. "That was all bullshit, huh?"

Silence fills the room. "How did you find out?" she finally asks, her voice soft.

That question seems to break whatever was remaining of my heart. If I didn't come back . . .

My trembling hands move to cover my mouth. Tears spill down my cheeks uncontrollably. I crumble right in front of her like a sandcastle in a storm.

"I wasn't going to do it, I swear." Her voice breaks.

Bree's POV

"Bree, you—" His words are cut short by his tears. There is a desperation in his voice. I feel my heart shatter. I can hear all the emotions he is feeling through the way he says my name. The pain, the anger, the disappointment, the confusion. "I would have followed you to the end of the earth. I loved you. Why would you . . . ?" Loved.

Tears fill my eyes. "I'm so sorry." I step closer to him and reach out to touch him, wanting to take his pain away. The pain I caused. "Elijah, please, it's me." He steps back, looking at me like I am the most disgusting and horrible thing in the world. "Can you stop looking at me like that? I know that what I did was extremely wrong but I didn't have a choice."

"You're f*cking pathetic."

I step closer, trying to reach out. To hold him, because I know what comes next. I know that this is the part where I never get to hug him, or hold him, or kiss him again. "Please, Elijah. You said there is nothing in the world that could make you want to leave."

He nods and brushes his hair off his face. "Fine," he says, heading for the kitchen. I release a sigh. He won't leave. But my relief is short lived. He comes back to me, holding a sharp knife with the handle pointed towards me. "Get it over with, then."

His face is stoic. It tears me apart. To see him looking at me with nothing in his eyes. My whole life he's looked at me like he loves me—even when I didn't know it.

I shake my head. "No, I won't." I wasn't going to. But he will never believe me.

"The only way you can stop me from leaving is if I'm bleeding out on this floor, Bree." He extends the knife closer to me. "Just do it! You don't care about my life. I clearly mean nothing to you and have nothing to live for, so go ahead."

"What—" My throat closes. My heart constricts. Taking a deep breath, I try again. "What about your sister? You have her to . . . to live for." I can barely get the words out.

"What about my sister?" he repeats. He seems to be thinking for a moment. Then he throws the knife to the ground. It clatters loudly. Rage fills his eyes. "What about her? Did she cross your mind when you agreed to take my life?" he screams.

"I wasn't going to. You have to understand."

He swirls around, unable to look at me anymore. A burning sensation fills my chest. This must be what hell feels like. He's right here, but he feels a million miles away.

I take deep breaths, but it's a struggle. Tears begin to pour down my face. He hates me now. I'm never going to see that look in his eyes again. The one that made me feel like I'm not alone in this world. "Elijah, please. Please forgive me. Please don't go. I know you don't believe me but I wasn't going to go through with it. I was going to kill Antonio. Because that's the only way I can get out of this."

"Don't give me that bullshit!" He slams his fist against the kitchen table. "You're lying now because scared to be alone again. You're so selfish." His lips tremble, so he presses them together. "I know that the person I fell in love with is not the same person I am standing in front of right now."

I bend over, holding my chest. It's suddenly impossible to breath. All of the air has been sucked out of the room. My mind races and spins. It makes me feel like I am going to throw up.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe, damn it! I never noticed. I haven't had a panic attack in so long.

"Hey." Elijah gently takes my face in his hands and gets me to look at him. Those eyes. Those lips. All of him, that now wants none of me. "Bree, just take a deep breath. You're okay."

I try, but my throat is closed off. My head feels light. I hold onto him, gripping fistfuls of his shirt. "Don't go. Please, don't go."

"Breath, Bree." He demonstrates. "Just follow me." He takes another deep breath. I follow his lead, taking in several deep breaths, until my heart begins to calm and I don't see black spots anymore.

"Thank you," I whisper.

He pulls me into a hug. So tight I feel I might be crushed. I run my hands over him, savouring the feeling of his body against mine. Knowing I'll never get this again.

Elijah's starts sobbing against me. His body shakes. "I don't want to let you go, Bree." His voice is broken.

"Please don't."

When he pulls away, he tears my heart out of my chest. The pain is overwhelming; almost crippling. Because I know what he is going to say. "I have to. This . . ." He shakes his head. "You know I can't stay."

He walks to the door and opens it, then glances back at her one more time. For a second, he hesitates. His jaw clenches.

"One more hug?" My voice shakes. "Please?"

His eyes soften for a moment. But his fists tighten and he shakes his head. "No. I have to go."

Then he is gone. This time he is not coming back.

•<•>•

Have any of you been through a breakup? What advice would you give about getting through it?

T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylaawrites
Y o u t u b e : xThePineappleGirlx

Lots of love and jelly tots - xThePineappleGirlx