The New Girl | Draco Malfoy

If Only / Forty - Nine

DRACO'S POV

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I have never in my life have seen that this day would actually come true. I've always thought and knew about it but I never thought that it would actually come true.

I wish I was dead.

How am I going to show my face in front of everyone now? I could hide it but it hurts. It stings so much to the point that sometimes made me want to just rip my skin off. I'm now someone that father always wanted me to be and mother never wanted me to be.

I had to took the place of my father.

I'm a Death Eater.

I'm nothing more than a piece of meat to the Dark Lord, an object for him to toss around and do his tasks just because he's too idle to do it himself. A vengeance to punish father but I don't even think that will bruise him. Let alone cut him deep. But mother..., mother carried it worse.

I can hear her weep every night when I came back from the roof and walk past her room, along the way to my room. She sometimes won't even come out and I have to sent an elf for every day meals, but the plate comes out the next day untouched.

The manor is also empty, dead and darker than ever. There is no sunlight, no yelling, no shouting, no nagging, no guests coming in or out, no meetings yet, no doors slamming in the morning or in the middle of night... just silence. And I like it that way.

It can sometime be addicting to stay in silence inside your room, other than wind coming in but my own thoughts can be loud and most of the time, they get to me.

How do I live with this mark on my arm? How do someone even live with it and think to themselves that it's okay to carry it? How was father so casual about it? How did mother, all her life, stayed quiet about it? Does she love her husband that much? How is... Blimey, how is Theo going to react to me, realizing that I have joined the side that gave him trauma as a kid?

How is Hela, oh, Hela. How is she going to respond when she reads my mind? She already hates me, she already looks at me differently than how she looks at others but how is she going to look at me now, in the eyes, and face me when she sees me with this?!

I hiss as my left arm stings again, and I immediately pull up my sleeve to reveal a badly red scared mark. I softly blow on it to cool the heat that it slowly starts to rise on the area but it wasn't much of a process, so I get up and run my hand under cold water to cool it down.

And as I sigh while walking out of the bathroom, two soft knocks came to the door. I pull down my sleeve and tuck my wand underneath as I walk to the door and twist the handle to reveal mother standing, looking down to her feet.

"Umm..." she clears her throat, "Draco, dear?" she swallows, still looking down to avoid eye contact, "Your aunt, Bella is here, and she needs to see you for something important." she looks up, revealing her red eyes but not to me, but to the top button of my jacket.

I don't like the sound of that OR her.

"On the Dark Lord's order -" she breathes in sharply, "sh- she needs to help you, so quickly go down to the drawing room and meet her." she continues with a pained expression on her face, as if it hurts her to see me meeting Bellatrix.

Fucking shit.

I took in a steady breath before answering, "Yes, mother." I exhale, walking out of my room and the door shuts behind me with a soft click of the lock, "Will you walk down with me?" I calmly ask, putting out my right hand, "Please?" I softly add.