Dark Desire

CHAPTER 82. Use Your Magic

  My arms ached, and I couldn't stop the thoughts in my mind. They left you, don't you see the pattern? They always leave, like Missy, like your parents did, and your brother too, he didn't want to be in your life.

I shook my head wildly, a whimper leaving my lips as my head hung downwards, hair like a curtain around me. "No they didn't," I whispered.

Do you see them here? You always have to save yourself - where were they when you got kidnapped with Kayla? With Malcolm? Aaron didn't save you from that bear, dead ghosts did.

"No," tears rolled down my cheeks, eyes burning as I closed them tightly. Then show me how I'm wrong, tell me. They never have to leave you, they always do anyway though.

My chest heaved, mouth parted as I sucked in air, trembling. A cry of anger, misery, and frustration left me, unable to do anything now.

I hated being helpless, I hated being controlled, and... I hated being alone. Sure, sometimes I liked being helpless for my guys but... they weren't here...

I held in a sob, pressing my lips together tightly. This was all my own fault, I got us into this mess. It was always my fault.

The door opened and I kept my head down, I didn't want them to see me crying. I didn't want to have any weaknesses.

My arms were freed, and I fell to the ground, on my knees. A wrist grabbed my hand, and I flinched as lips touched my palm. "Raven," River's voice.

"Leave me alone," my voice cracked, eyes on the floor.

"Pancake,"

My eyes slowly went wide, heart beating faster. My head slowly lifted and I stared at River. "Pancake?" I echoed, lips parting.

"It's me, Raven, third times a charm, isn't that what you said?" his eyes were soft and filled with sorrow.

I lurched forward, arms going around his neck as I broke down sobbing. My twisted my fingers into his shirt. "Don't leave me behind," I pleaded breathlessly, finding it hard to breathe.

"I'm here now," he soothed and ran a hand down my hair, holding me to him. "I'm so, so sorry," he whispered. I pressed my cheek against his and pushed my fingers through his hair, gripping it tightly as I kept my other hand entwined in his shirt.

  "Take me home, I want to go home, I don't like it, I don't, no, no, no," I weakly laid my head on his shoulder.

"I know baby," River's arms tightened around me. "Soon- today,"

I closed my eyes, feeling feverish as I rested in his arms. The smallest smile filled my full mouth, feeling safe for the first time in a while.

"Use your magic, Raven," River whispered, kissing the top of my head. "Use it as much as you want,"

"Clair said not too," I murmured, eyes still closed. I didn't want to think about that woman.

"Clair is a fool," River said firmly. "Besides, you know magic should cost you something, so it will. When we get back to our world, you won't be cheating the system I think."

I lifted my head and touched his face lightly, looking into his eyes. "You are my River," I kissed his eyes and he closed them easily.

"Forever and always," he agreed and laughed a little. "That was cringy, huh?"

I smiled a little. "Doesn't mean people don't dream of hearing those words," I told him and leaned into his palm when he touched my cheek. "I want out of this room," I whispered.

"How long were you like that?" River asked warily, a hint of rage in his voice.

"A few hours, my wrists hurt," I admitted and paused as he rose and helped me to my feet, holding my fingers and kissing my red wrists gently.