Flames Between Us (bxb) | ✔

Chapter Thirty Six

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MICAH BLEU

The second I turn from Weston, I place the card machine back in its holder and rush to the back room. My chest was burning painfully, lungs contracting as I attempt to calm my breathing. For a moment I thought my heart was going to burst into flames, my back lowers into the wall and I hunch over my stomach.

Tears stung my eyes, fuck. How would I ever get over this?

I can't even talk to him for a few moments without sending my mind into chaos.

I fucking miss you Micah.

My eyes clench tightly, my cheeks dampening from my tears. Have I made a mistake?

Have I done something that I'm later going to regret for the rest of my life?

Maybe I'm purposely self-sabotaging because I don't want anything to hurt me again. But isn't that the point of life? Nothing is ever plain sailing, it's about getting hurt, learning from mistakes. Could I go through all of that again?

"Micah?" I hear Abel's voice as he loops around the wall.

I instantly wipe my eyes and straighten my spine. "Hey," his voice dips. "It's okay."

Abel's hand smooths over my shoulder and he pulls me into a hug that I didn't know I needed. My body crumbles into his and he holds me tightly as I sob into his shoulder, no longer able to keep in my emotions.

"Seeing him is too much," I mumble into his white shirt. "I can't fucking do it. I didn't think he'd come back here."

I sniffle as Abel continues to hold me tightly, rubbing my back with his hand. "Go home Micah," he breathes out slowly before releasing my body and holding me at arms length. "I can cover the rest of the evening. You're in no fit state to still be here."

"No," I stand my ground and wipe my eyes, not realising my glasses had begun to steam up. "I can finish the shift."

"No," Abel's voice cuts over mine. "Go home and calm yourself down. Come back in when you're feeling up to it again. Micah, don't force yourself to be here when you know that you don't have to be."

My lip quivers as I glance back at him. I knew full well if I stayed tonight I'd make a thousand mistakes, my sloppy serving would only make me more upset. "Okay," I say in defeat. "I'll go home."

Abel gives my shoulder a squeeze and a firm nod. "Okay," he smiles. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shake my head quickly. "No," my throat croaks. "Thanks Abel, but I can't be bothered to speak about my shitty feelings right now."

He offers me a genuine smile. "Okay, well you know where I am if you wanna talk. You can call me anytime, Micah. I will always be there for you."

"Thanks Abel," I give him one last hug. "I really appreciate it."

"Don't need to thank me man," he slaps my back as I pull away.

I give my eyes one last wipe before collecting my belongings and exiting out the back door, heading straight for the tube. My eyes refused to look at a single person as I travelled home in silence, replaying our conversation in my head on loop. It's like I wanted to torture myself, hurt myself.