If I Stay✔️

8

Numb.

Leo's whole body felt ice-cold, the numbness over taking his mind, shortly followed by the ever-so confusing feelings of anger.

As Leo's gaze moved from the table top he'd been looking at since Emilio's exclaim, he couldn't help the glare that found it's way to his eyes as looked at the grey eyed boy, who was clearly avoiding eye-contact with Leo at all costs.

Leo couldn't understand why he felt angry, in his mind; he had no reason to be upset. Emilio's his friend, that's it, nothing more.

Does he want Emilio to be more?

Leo wasn't sure, because to Leo; how the hell could he think of liking another, when he doesn't even like himself?

It would be stupid for him to like Emilio.

He deserves better.

As the chatter around the lunch table continued, Leo zoned out. There was only so much he could handle in the space of a few hours, from his never-ending game of avoidance, to Marco's lies and Emilio's disgust; listening to Maya and Bella gush on about how cute of a couple Emilio and Killian would make, was the final straw for Leo.

It hurt Leo much more than he cared to admit, and even at that, he wasn't entirely sure as to why it did.

A throbbing sensation in his head, had Leo rubbing his temples. The pounding becoming unbearable, as the voices began to manifest. The very few words and sentences Leo had grown — somewhat — used too, now turning to a multitude of whispers. So loud, Leo could only describe them as near-deafening.

Leo felt like he was drowning and for once, he didn't feel like trying to swim.

Fuck, why did this have to hurt so much?

He couldn't sit here any longer.

Picking up his belongs; that consisting of his book and backpack, Leo quickly stood from his seat. Ignoring the confused glances and calls from his friends, Leo practically ran from the cafeteria as the burning sensation of tears threatened his eyes.

He didn't want Emilio to see his tears.

Killian, Killian, Killian...

Leo had always looked up to his brothers, each and every one of them, but right now — in this particular moment, being a Lombardi felt like a curse.

Everyone was always so quick to compare each of them. Whether it be their looks, popularity, grades... Leo hated it.

To Leo, he would never be on the same level as his brothers, he'd never be good enough for them, he'd never be good enough for Emilio.

Because in reality, there was nothing to compare. Leo was nothing like his brothers, and Emilio deserved someone as great as Killian.

Leo couldn't compete with the perfection that is his brother. He'd never be the person his best friend deserved, the person he desired.

Leo was nothing, or maybe in Emilio's eyes; he was disgusting. Leo had witnessed that look, he knew that's what Em thought of him now.