My Love is a Star (BTS Suga Fanfiction)

117. Babe

YOONGI'S POV

The steady sound of my car's hazard lights was like the bomb ticking within me, ready to explode anytime. Rozie hasn't answered any of my calls since 12 noon. I'm an overthinker. I try not to be but I just can't help it. My mind's been running a film that I put foolishly together. Call me malicious but I believe I have every right to be.

How hard is it to tell me the truth? Would it take so much to answer the phone and just say, "Oh Yoongi, I happen to be in Busan right now. And yeah, didn't bother telling you knowing you wouldn't let me. But please don't worry. I'll be back in your arms in no time." 

Those words are all I needed, babe.

Babe.

I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling nostalgic about the very first time I call her that. 

"Let's make some love, babe," I remember me saying to her with so much passion and desire combined. I could still savor the sweetness at the very first taste of her. The touch and kisses we shared felt like it all just happened yesterday. That night really changed everything for both of us. If I chose differently then, I would still be living my life per usual; finishing long hours at work and calling it a day with yet another random person to blow off the steam.

Babe. 

It was actually my generic name for all my booty calls back then. I just didn't have the energy to remember their names or think of a different one for each of them, so "babe" was really my go-to especially during the part when I start grinding on to them in bed. The last thing I expected was for it to mean so much to me than it being just a silly pet name. 

It may come as very exaggerated for others when I say that giving myself to Rozie was such a big deal to me because it really is. Opening up wasn't my thing. If I meet someone and I find her sexy enough to turn me on, then yes, I'll hit it off with her. But, that's just that. It ends when the blow's over. 

Sana may have been a temporary exemption but just because we went on tours together. She was really the easiest way to get a good release when my adrenaline's up after our concerts and I badly needed to get knocked out fast. She was unquestionably just good for, for a lack of a better word, fucking.

When I get tired of her and I need a change of flavor, there were maybe one or two instances when I discreetly scan among the VIP seats and look for anyone that catches my eye. I would then secretly ask some staff members to get a hold of her and bring her to my hotel room. These things happen not just with me but with the other members too. But then again, despite having the staff understanding our needs as grown men and taking care of privacy protocol and the like, it's too much of a risk. Some women just don't give a fuck about NDAs, hence, jacking off would often be a better option to get a good night's sleep.

Don't get us wrong by thinking that we only preoccupy ourselves with getting laid while we're on stage. We really just go through a lot of stress, a lot, in fact, is taking it a hundred notches lower than what it actually is. The released footage doesn't capture even half of the whole truth. We only show the world what we want. I'm not saying that what everyone else sees is fake. We just filter things up or alter a couple of bits of the story. We are meant to look good, after all.

Someone changed it all though, at least for me. What should have been just a passing connection is now the only constant I want in my life. My love for music is eternal but I will eventually reach the point when my mind gets all rusty to write the lyrics of a song and my knees could no longer withstand even just a two-step choreography. Our fame will soon die down and we would be nothing else but a good memory to look back to in ten years or so.