50 | if only

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Hi guys, since it's a triple update, please make sure that you've read Chapter 48 and 49 :)



I hate this kind of party. A fucking college party. I've never wanted to be reminded of college life, but ever since Nevaeh stayed with me, it has been something that I can't escape.

Fuck. She doesn't even want me to be here.

I hate how weak I am when it comes to her. It's like I want to believe everything, but I'm afraid that nothing even exists in the first place.

I sigh, placing my beer back onto the table with a loud thud.

Wrong choice of drink. I should have a cup of hot chocolate.

"Isn't he Aiden Klein?" A girl exclaims as she passes by.

Her friend immediately stops in her track too. "Oh my God. It's really him."

I can't hear clearly what they say again because of the loud music, but their excitement is all over the air.

I try to not pay attention, but the longer I stay here, the more I feel people's eyes on me. This is what Nevaeh was talking about. She doesn't want anyone to snap a picture of us.

My heart sinks at the thought of never being able to have her in my arms. I don't want to fall into this chaotic mess, but I'm already in it.

My eyes narrow as Nevaeh's friend approaches me. To my surprise, she takes a seat next to me and swallows.

My eyebrows raise. What is she doing here?

"Um... I'm Maya, Nevaeh's friend," she says without looking at me. "I just want to tell you that she's thinking about you."

I turn my head toward Nevaeh, who abruptly tears her gaze away from me. My heart thuds as I notice her cheeks turning pink.


What Maya said doesn't necessarily mean something good, though. I don't know what Nevaeh is thinking about me.

A frown touches my lips when I see two guys stopping at her table. They say something, and she welcomes their conversation in a friendly manner. They seem to know each other. Maybe they're her classmates.

My expression must have shown something unpleasant, because the next thing Maya says is, "Don't worry. She likes older man."

I freeze. I shift my attention to Maya, and she nods quietly.

Did I just hear her right?

Does Nevaeh like older man?

Fuck yes.

I watch as the guys finally leave Nevaeh's table. Right. Those guys can go to hell. The same goes for that stupid boy, Kai. He can say anything he wants, but there's no way that God will change his age.

Nothing, nothing can change his age. I smirk in satisfaction.

Maya's hand shoots to her mouth, as though she finally realizes that she has spoken too much. "Um... I think I should go back now," she echoes before tottering toward Nevaeh.

When Maya arrives at Nevaeh's table, another girl and a man approach them. The three of them sit with Nevaeh. The man says something, and Nevaeh laughs.

The scene triggers me, more than I could ever imagine.

Who the fuck is that man?

Why the hell is Nevaeh laughing at what he said?

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