Drax's Dick Theory

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----- October 18th, 2014 - Berhert -----

Four moons of various sizes shine over the forest. 

The campfire crackles beside the Milano, and 'Southern Nights' by Glenn Campbell emits from the cassette player within. 

The Monstrous Ravager and Kraglin lead a group of Ravagers up over a ravine. Dozens of M-Ships quietly lower behind them. 

Kraglin nods toward the sounds of Glenn Campbell in the distance. 

They raise their weapons. 

Dozens and dozens of Ravagers come from different directions, surrounding the Milano. One Ravager cluster, lead by Half-Nut, creeps close enough to the Milano that they see the lights within the vehicle and can hear Rocket inside humming along to the song. 

Half-Nut licks his lips in anticipation, closing in for the kill, when he steps on a small pedal. 

It clicks...

A hundred darts fly at the group from traps set in trees. They stick into The Ravagers' bodies, knocking them instantly unconscious. 

As one Ravager falls, a gunshot is discharged. 

__________

Nebula is awakened by the shot. 

She sees a frightened Groot, peering through a hole at the bodies falling. Beside him, a walkie-talkie with Rocket's humming coming through. 

__________

Rocket is crouched on a branch in shadows above the Milano, smiling and humming to "Southern Nights" into his comm. 

He spots a larger group of Ravagers approaching The Milano from the other side. 

Rocket leaps towards them, from one tree branch to another

The group enters a clearing close to the ship. They hear a branch snap and sharply look up, seeing Rocket.

"There!!"

The Ravagers blast at Rocket, following him. 

He hops from tree to tree as bullets whizz past him, leading them right where he wants them. He stops in a tree at the end of the run. 

He holds a device with two buttons. 

He presses one of them. 

"Feels so good"

A concussive bomb at the feet of the Ravagers bursts, sending half of them flying up into the air. 

"Feels so good it's frightening
Wish I could"

As the confused group on the ground watches, Rocket presses the second button and a second bomb bursts. They fly up into the air as well.

"Stop this world from fighting
La-da-da-da-da, da-la-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da"

Rocket snickers, as he continues pushes the buttons and the two groups of Ravagers fly up and down until the bombs are depleted of energy. 

"Mystery"

One Ravager looks up from the ground, to see the little animal hopping away in the tree limbs overhead. 

"Like this and many others
In the trees"

[DISCONTINUED] The Child of Hope (MCU x Male "Superman" Reader)Where stories live. Discover now