Beneath The Shadows (BXB)

Chapter 63

Liam's POV

People say that there are different kinds of heartbreak. Mine just happens to be in a form of a person I could never see or hold again. Someone I could no longer talk to.

I wish I was given the chance to ask him what he meant when he said "Be happy". What would be his question if we weren't interrupted that day in the woods?

Would he have the courage to put his emotions into words? Would I know if I wasn't so clueless to everything? Was he really happy when he was with me? Or was it painful to be near me?

Was I...worth it? Worth dying for?

All these thoughts ran through my head as I thought of the person whose presence...became a living memory.

They say that regret lurks in the corners of our subconscious, waiting for a time to sink its claws when we are in distress. Because at the end of the day, we regret the chances we didn't take.

As I slowly opened my eyes and stared at a familiar ceiling, there was a sense of quietness that settled over my body. I felt...nothing. I was just really tired. I didn't want to move my body.

I could feel myself zoning out, and I would've fallen back to sleep if it wasn't for the curse that flowed in my veins, willing me to drink and take back all the energy I've lost.

"If you think I don't feel your presence in this room, then you're very much mistaken."

My voice was groggy and hoarse with sleep but I managed to get my message across to Ryder.

The silence made it possible to hear the sigh of relief he breathed out, and slowly approached the bed while I stared at him passively.

It's true that the eyes are truly the window to the soul. Because even if I don't use our connection, I could see the guilt and concern reflected back to me.

"I-"

"Let me guess."

He was taken aback when I cut him off before he could even utter another word. I could feel he wasn't used to me being like this. Good.

"You're sorry, and it wasn't your intention." He swallowed and closed his eyes. He expelled a slow but frustrated breath before trying again.

"I-"

"You only wanted to protect me. That's why you did it." He didn't like that I could easily state his reasons one by one. I could see it in the way he clenched his jaw and closed his fists.

"It's-

"You're afraid that I wouldn't be able to face it. Because you think I'm weak. I'm stupid. Because I'm-"

"For fuck's sake Liam!" He shouted at me, and the veins in his neck popped out due to his frustration. He breathed heavily and ran a hand through his hair as he faced away.

"Let me fucking finish then you can continue to be angry at me. But I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that." He said quietly and I just stared straight up, not giving him a reaction.

"Do you know why I lied? Why I didn't tell you?" He turned his head a fraction, and waited for the answer I was yet to give.

Silence settled over the room before he spoke.

"Ask me, Liam."

"Why?"

"Because it tears me apart to see you hurt. It kills me when I can do nothing but to watch you while you're in pain. That's why I'd rather you be oblivious or angry. But never in pain."

His voice broke, and immediately, he turned away. I closed my eyes and listened.

"I lied to you not because you were weak. But because you're too kind, and I don't want anything to take that away from you. Because that's one of the things that makes you you." I could feel him stepping closer, and with each step, the connection between us pulsed and became charged with electricity.