DESIDERIUM

five

"Ow! You bitch, what was that for?" I ask Tristan while putting a hand on my throbbing nose, giving him a dirty glare.

"You're not concentrated. Focus."

I give him a look, one he completely ignores.

"Okay, start again," he gets into a fight stance and I mirror him, not without keeping my big mouth shut tho.

"You try living with your mates who clearly don't want you there and overall don't want you because they despise you."

Instead of responding he throws the first punch, one I'm able to block but he doesn't hesitate to take advantage of my weak form and the next second I lay on the ground on my back and a wince leaves my mouth.

"Fuck you."

He just shakes his head at me and stretches out his hand, helping me up.

"You don't really believe that they despise you, do you?"

"I mean... isn't it obvious? And also totally understandable?"

Tristan gives me a disproving look, one that I already know too well. He thinks I talk down on myself too much, I think I just have a pretty realistic way of how people perceive me.

"They don't hate you. They can't take their eyes off of you, everytime you're in the same room as them and-"

"-and that's all because of the mate bond. It doesn't have anything to do with how they actually feel about me," I finish for him, not wanting to hear those words that would bring my hopes up, just for them to be crushed again.

Just as he wants to reply you can hear people talking in the distance and me and Tristan both tense up at the same time.

It's the warrior wolves, coming to train. Tristan and I share a quick look and start to pick up our things to leave but a voice stops us.

"Don't let us disrupt you."

Adrian. Suddenly, my wolf is no longer as quiet as he was the while time today.

"No, it's fine. We've trained enough for today," Tristan replies in a gruff voice and some of the people behind Adrian start whispering, making me narrow my eyes.

"I'm sure you did," a boy my age taunts, making my wolf growl lowly in my head.

Adrian gives him a disapproving look and looks back at us, at me and I avert my gaze when I feel like I can no longer hold it.

"Why don't you train with us?" he suggests and I look at him again, surprised that he would suggest something like that.

My impression the last few days was, that he wanted to get away from me as far as possible. Before anyone can reply, the boy speaks up again.

"So he can paralyze us as well?"

I freeze on the spot, instinctively taking a step closer to Tristan, not really even sure why.

My mouth suddenly feels dry and I don't dare to look anywhere but on the ground, suddenly feeling like I might throw up any second.

My wolf is suddenly still again and I can feel the guilt he's feeling right now, thinking that all of this is his fault.

I'm glad that we made such progress that he actually could show me how he feels, anything else than anger that is, but at the same time, I don't want him to feel guilty. Not for something that was bound to happen at some point.

A growl is heard and before you know it, Adrian is standing in front of him with a deadly look on his face.

"Do you really think I would put my own pack members in that kind of danger? Are you questioning my authority?"