west side, ashtray; season one

16

valerie

i woke up with a pounding headache and looked around the room as i sat up. i shuffled around in the bed to make myself a little more comfortable to see that i wasn't in my own clothes but ashtrays?

i looked to ashtrays chair on my right where he was sitting there with his head in his hands. 'ash...?' i whispered with a dry voice. his head shot up and i saw his bloodshot eyes. i felt immediately bad. he must've not slept.

i tried regaining a little bit of my memory and strength as we sat there staring at each other.

i sat there as i remembered mouse and his pedo ass. i rubbed my eyes and tried to get up but as soon as my feet made contact with the cold wooden floor i collapsed on my knees.

ash got up and pulled me back into bed, 'sorry,' i managed to say. he shook his head and left the room. he came back quite quickly with a bowl of what looked like soup?

'here.' he said while placing it over the duvet on my lap. i smiled weakly and took the spoon from the bowl and moved it up to my lips with a little bit of difficulty. the taste was fine which made me doubt that he made the soup himself. 'did you make it?' i asked putting the spoon down and letting the soup overflow it. he shook his head, 'i went to the shop.' he said which made me laugh a little. 'where's rue?' i asked playing with the spoon. 'fez took her to jules house right after you fell asleep,' he said and i nodded.

i brought the bowl of soup up to my lips forgetting about the spoon. i let the thick hot flavoured water run down my throat making me feel so much better. ash just sat there staring at me. he was always staring, he needed to get that checked out.

i finished the last few drops and placed the empty bowl on my lap. 'want more?' he asked to which i just shook my head. he got up and took the bowl out the room to the kitchen.

i felt a bit stronger so i pulled off the duvet and placed my feet on the cold floor again. i pushed myself up with the help of ash's chair keeping me stable and up. i took small steps until i made it to the door, i opened it slowly and made my way to where i guessed was the bathroom. i was right and went in.

i looked up in the mirror and saw my face stained with blood and tears. what the fuck happened?

the more i stood there staring at myself the more i remembered.

i got a nose bleed from the drugs that mouse gave me.

i leant down to the sink and turned it on. my fingers ran though the cold water. i took a deep breath before washing my face.

i turned off the tap and looked in the mirror again, my face was back to its original colour. i shook my head slightly and grabbed the towel next to the sink.

i wiped my face but the realised this towel could've been used for anything... i quickly dropped it and washed my face again with warmer water this time. i grabbed some tissues and dabbed them on my face so i wasnt completely wet.

i left and saw ash on the couch, looking up at me. i could walk a little better now so sat down next to him on the couch making it sink a little. he laughed slightly, 'what are you laughing at?' i said looking over at him with my eyebrows raised. 'you, fat shit,' he said laughing even harder now. my lips parted slightly and moved away from him to the other side of the couch. 'dick.' i whispered but somehow he heard me and grabbed me by my arms gently enough to not hurt me but move me close to him. 

'im kidding ma,' he said while i was practically sitting in his lap looking up at him.

there it was again. our faces so close, only a few centimetres apart. he looked down at my lips and then back at my eyes again. i felt my stomach erupting with butterflies, i really just wanted him to kiss me.

he leaned in even more making us so close that if i pouted my lips they would've been touching his. his hand crawled around my waist and we sat there like that for what felt like a few seconds just gazing at one another. i saw all his wrinkles, pores and scars, he was beautiful. i smiled which made him look down at my lips again.

all that suddenly stopped as soon as fez walked in shirtless only wearing his m&m pjs which made me move back into my original spot on the couch before ashtray moved me and laughed. i got up and said my goodmornings to fez just as a heard the quietest, 'fuck fez.' out of ash's mouth. i walked to ash's room and found my clothes neatly folded on his desk. i smiled and grabbed them.

wait. if my clothes were there and i was wearing ash's clothes that meant he must've changed me? or could've changed myself but i couldn't remember that. or anything to be honest other than a few flashes of last night.

i sighed as i sit on his bed not wanting to get changed. i picked up my phone which was also on ashs desk. 3:25pm. shit it was late. i saw that an unknown number texted me so i decided to open it.

unknown
hey kid it's damien
look im worried ab you
where are you?
call me as soon as you see this
im genuinely worried now.

i changed his name to 'damien' and smiled at my phone knowing that he cared about me. i called the number which picked up almost immediately. 'val!?' damien said. his voice made me slump down on the bed relaxed. 'hi damien,' i said. 'val where are you? i was worried sick, you don't even understand.' he said speaking in a rush. 'im sorry, i was at a friends house for the night, i didn't feel well, sorry for not texting you.' i said still smiling because i knew i wouldn't get told off but comforted by damien.

i heard a relaxed sigh escape his lips on the other side of the phone which made all of my problems just disappear, i loved the feeling of being cared for. 'ok val good, im home right now so if you want to you can come but if you want to say there you can just tell me when you're coming.' he said in his regular tone. i hummed in response and said goodbye before hanging up.

i was debating if i should go home or stay here but i actually felt bad for staying at fezcos house for two days uninvited.

'hey val...?' ash said knocking lightly onto the door then walking in. 'yes?' i said. 'im sorry about last night, like i really am.' he said standing up still. 'don't go all soft on me ash, it's fine.' i said but it wasn't actually fine, it just wasn't his place to apologise because it wasn't his fault.

'shut up im not going soft on you,' he said pushing my shoulder while his face turned pink. i laughed and pulled him down on the bed to sit down with me. 'why'd he call you princess?' ash asked referring to mouse.

i didn't really want to tell him because i didn't want him to find out that i was lying to him a couple weeks back and get upset with me. 'he and my brother deal.' i said. our thighs sat side by side touching each other. i completely forgot what we were talking about as i looked down at our legs. the contact made me go crazy. am i really starting to like ash?

au
eh filler chapter tbh. not my fav but oh well
anyways stan damien❤️
not proof read sorry

1383 words