don't get too attached - matt sturniolo

chapter nine

i settled into a small routine for the next couple of days. the rejection from my peers still stung, but i learned to live with it. well, i learned to get distracted from it.

that distraction usually came in the form of nick asking me for notes and answers during class, chris blabbering about everything under the sun in gym, and the combined dynamics of all three triplets at lunch, where i was subjected to being the mediator in countless unnecessary arguments.

“so, what, just because you’re friends with us, that means that nobody here likes you anymore?” chris queried, tilting his head. i winced and nodded my head.

“yeah. that’s kind of the rule around here. i pretty much am destined to break your guys’s hearts and leave you adrift when you leave. so, sorry about that in advance,” i chuckled, the notion still absurd. we were friends, i supposed, in the loosest sense of the term. well, i was friends with nick and chris. matt still gave me dirty looks instead of coming out and saying whatever was on his mind. but ever since i had confessed that nobody else in the school would talk to me because i was hanging out with them, he seemed to relax, if only just a touch.

“so what are you doing this weekend?” nick asked, deftly changing the subject.

“nothing, i don’t think. why?”

“well, if you’re not doing anything, do you want to come over?”

i looked at him, confused. “do you have another homework assignment to work on?” i blanched. “did i forget a homework assignment?”

nick’s mouth dropped open, but he quickly recovered with a giggle and shook his head. “no. i’m asking if you want to come over so we can hang out.”

“hang…out,” i said slowly. this felt like another boundary, a line to be crossed. i talked to them during school hours, and i helped them out with their work occasionally. but to be at their house with no clear task, there to just…hang out. i didn’t know how to feel about that.

“i’d have to ask my dad,” i replied, and in my heart i knew it was a weak cop-out. but they didn’t know that my dad would most likely be unconscious by the time i got home to ask. nick nodded, and i breathed a sigh of relief.

“are you sure? you seem perfectly happy invading the only space we have.”

we all turned to look at matt, who was leaned forward, eyes alight, teeth gritted. apparently i was wrong about him feeling more accepting towards me.

“yes, i’m sure. and chris is too,” nick responded testily. chris shot nick a look, obviously not wanting to be in the middle of whatever feud nick and matt were having. but he finally relented and nodded. matt went carefully blank and shook his head, positioning himself away from us and turning on his phone.

“just ask your dad and let me know.” nick said, giving me a strained smile.

“um, since today is friday, i can’t really let you know unless i just show up at your house.”

“oh, yeah. well then, let me give you my number.” nick reached across the table, and i placed my phone in his hand, watching him furiously type his contact information in.

“text me when you know.”

i looked down at my phone, seeing nick’s name and number on the screen, feeling like another step had been taken away from everything i knew about socializing with new kids.

but this time, i didn’t feel guilty or ashamed of it. i wasn’t angry or frustrated. i was…excited.