west side, ashtray; season one

19

valerie

'what was that?' rue said as i caught up to her once we were out the shop. my face was still red from what happened with me and ash. 'i... don't know?' i said. 'bullshit,' she said looking over to me. 'nah rue im being for real, i don't know,' i said just trying to process everything. she scoffed and started to laugh. 'i didn't even think ash would like you like that.' she said punching my arm slightly. 'yeah same... wait what do you mean?' i asked feeling slightly offended but doubting she meant it like that.

'i mean no offence but look at you, you're not ugly or anything but your personality is quite basic and too perfect compared to ashs,' she said air quoting 'perfect' with her fingers. 'rue what?' i said confused. 'i haven't even known you for that long?' i said trying to defend myself. 'but i've known you long enough to realise that though,' she said. what the fuck?

i was stunned by rues sudden outburst about me, and if im being honest it did hurt. 'do you really mean that?' i asked as my eyes started to cloud up. i really didn't want to cry over something like this right now so i tried my hardest for rue not to notice.

'i mean i wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it.' she said shrugging her shoulders before pointing to my house across the street. 'your house val.' she spoke before leaving me and continued to walk down the road.

i walked into my door and walked in, the door unlocked. i was too upset to actually care so i went straight to my bedroom.

--

i woke up feeling like shit and had no motivation to go to school so decided to bunk it. just for today.

was i really that uninteresting to be called boring by someone who hasn't even know me for a month?

thoughts ran around my head trying to think if rue was fucked up on some drug yesterday and didn't mean what she said or actually mean it all.

i didn't want damien to know i was skipping school so i got out of bed and got dressed in a pair of black nike sweats and a simple black crop top. i put on my black uptempo 96s and walked out the door.

i had my phone clutched in my hand as i made my way down to fezcos little shop.

i walked in which made fez shoot his head up to look at me with his usual confused face. 'why you here kid?' he asked. 'i didn't want to go to school today.' i said which made fez shake his head. 'ok fine but only today and then you're back in school, ion want you to be like me,' he said laughing. i nodded and smiled and made my way into the back where ash always was.

he instantly looked up at me and frowned. 'why are you not at school valerie?' he said shaking his head like fezco did.

'i didn't want to, but i promised fez i'll go tomorrow no matter what.' i said sitting on the empty chair in front of him. 'what lessons did you have today?' he asked looking a little disappointed in me. 'uh i think double chem, maths, pe and history?' i said kind of happy because i didn't want to do double chemistry at all. he nodded before looking down at his phone. i sat there in silence trying to fight my urge of asking ash about yesterday.

my fighting paid off because i didn't ask about it which made me relived. i sat there smiling to myself and looking around, i found out that sitting with ash in silence felt  actually quite nice.

i pulled out my phone and just started scrolling on insta. i replied to random dms, liked random posts and just looked at random shit.

i scrolled down to one my friends post from my old school. i haven't seen him since the beginning of summer and he looked really good now. i smiled down at my phone as i commented on his post.

pretty much as soon as i sent the comment he sent me a dm.

handsommk
yo val

me
hey mark

handsommk
aint seen u in a long time? u good?

me
yeah im good thanks, you?

handsommk
im cool👍
read 10:29

i smiled down at my phone since at least someone bothered to text me and not bash me for leaving like that. i missed my old school if i was being honest.

me and mark used to talk a couple years back but it was never very serious but i did like him for a couple of months before he ghosted me and made out with my best friend.

i mean i couldn't really do anything since we weren't in a relationship or anything but my best friend at the time knew i liked him.

after that day i pretty much became alone there and only hung out like two people.

thankfully i've moved now and schools not that bad here, other than the hyperactive kids everywhere there's not a lot of drama. not yet at least.

i heard cough from in front of me which caused me to look up and see ash looking at me. he looked mad. 'hi ash.' i said smiling a bit. 'so you just came here to sit on your phone and text your bitches?'

what? what bitches?

'ash what are you on? what bitches?' i asked looking down at my phone to see i had my chat open of me and mark. was he really mad at me texting him?

'don't act dumb and don't ignore my question.' he said, his voice deep and annoyed. 'what? i didn't want to bother you since you were on your phone too so i went on mine.' i said squinting my eyes. 'so you could text your boyfriend?' he sneered. why was he getting so mad?

'i was texting some dude from my old school, he asked if i was fine and that's it.' i said taking my phone from my lap and placed it right in front of his face and showed him the messages. his face softened and shared looks between me and my phone.

'sorry.' i said quietly while putting my phone back down and looking at my lap awkwardly.

i heard and felt some shuffling from ash but i couldn't look up at him.

i felt a heavy warm hand lift my head up from my chin, i was forced to look up at ash who stood there menacingly over me.

he leaned in and kissed me. butterflies flying freely all over my body. i smiled into the kiss which made ash back up and look at me, his hand still under my chin.

i wanted to kiss him again but he just went back to his seat acting like nothing happened.

i looked at him as he pulled his phone from his pocket and start to type whatever he was typing. 'huh...' i said softly which made ash look up and laugh. 'you a good kisser ma.' he said before looking down back on his phone and laughing again.

what was this boy doing to me...

au
sorry for letting it hang there like that i just wanted to post something
i'll post the rest when i wake up because it's literally nearly 5am and i haven't slept

also i absolutely love it when people comment, it just makes my day and i always try to respond to them if i can.

1285 words