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Title: Love Through Letters
Genre: Romance
Author: BooksaretheBest42
Cover: 75/100
Your cover at the moment is good, but still lacking in a few places. First off, the picture you used works really well, and is appealing to the eyes. But I’m left wondering how this really connects to your story when this couple is supposed to be far away from one another (as the title and blurb explains). I’m not saying it’s a bad choice as the cover picture, I’m just suggesting that you think about how your cover truly plays into your title, blurb and story, because readers like seeing this connection and knowing what to expect. Really, the only other apsect of your cover is the title itself, and it needs some readjusting as well. I’m not in love with the seemingly random placement of the words, and I think it would be more appealing with them centered or lined up in a more organized fashion. I also think the text would be better suited with a different font, something that hints at the romance to come with a more “delicate” (if thats a word you can use to describe a font) look. You just don’t get much emotion from the boring font it’s currently in. And the last thing is the little heart beside the title. I think the cover would do just as well without it, but if it’s a must-have, it definitely needs a better placement than where its falling off the edge.
Blurb: 80/100
I really do love this short little blurb you’ve provided, but its biggest issue is with how little it actually provides. I think readers would appreciate a little more background on why letters are their only communication, or if this trend will eventually change, leading to the troubles you’ve mentioned. Your current blurb provides plenty of mystery, but perhaps just a little too much. A blurb should be short but sweet, and also a preview of the plot. Just keep that in mind if you decide to add a little more.
Grammar: 90/100
I didn’t notice any big grammar issues, so congrats on that, but here are a few mistakes I noticed, along with some tips:
Colons - I noticed several places where you used a dash in a place that would be better suited with a colon. A lot of people are intimidated when they first attempt writing with a colon, but it really isn’t all that complicated. A colon is used to kind of separate a topic and a sub-topic, as we see in many titles. (Ex: Spider-Man: No Way Home) But it can also be used to provide more info on a subject in a sentence, as well as introduce a list. It’s kind of a way of saying, “which is/are as follows.” (Ex: I have two sisters: Abba and Ally) Hopefully you get the idea. There’s also something known as an appositive phrase. These are words or phrases (that sometimes require a comma to set it off) that rename your subject. (Ex: I have two sisters, Abba and Ally.)
A couple fixed examples from your prologue:
But I am most excited to meet Sana, the love of my life.
In her latest letter, she promised to meet me tomorrow at our special place: The Sunset Point.
Chapter by Chapter Review: 80/100
Prologue - I am a big fan of prologues, as long as they’re meaningful and written well, and I believe that they can provide a truly wonderful start to a story. With all that being said, you’ve done a fairly good job with your own. I find the first quote-like part quite inspiring, but maybe a little blunt. And the perspective seems just a little frantic and repetitive. I might would slow it down a litlle, and instead of going from “I was imprisoned” to “I’m being released tomorrow,” you could subty work the fact of his imprisonment into the excitement Faisal has for the things he has missed dearly. It also seems that you mention the fact of these 14 years quite a lot, and there are several different points on how Faisal will interact with Sana when he sees her again. I think it would greatly benefit this prologue if you shortened it, cut out some of the repetitive phrases and mentions, as well as grouping together similar thoughts to make it flow better. I can feel the heartwarming vibe within it, it just needs a little toning down so you can get that message through without it seeming so artificial.
Chapter 1 - You really start this chapter strong, and the wonderful descriptions highlight your writing talent almost immediately. But something else I notice quite quickly is that it’s a bit all over the place. You have quickly changing elements, such as an introduction to this group of friends, and then a plot to thwart bullying that swaps almost instantly. There doesn’t seem to be that much transition within this part of the chapter, and I think it would definitely benefit if it had a little more. Slow it down some, and remember that you don’t always have to start a story with an introduction. I think I would cut out that part, and go straight into their prank on the bullies, waiting to further introduce all of our characters at a less hectic time. Also, when Gayatri enters the school, the boys start rambling about whether or not she’s the “one.” I don’t really understand where this romance is coming from, nor why they’re referring to her like this since she’s supposed to be merely a friend. I know I keep ranting about subtlety, but again, you can hint at the fact that they might have a romantic interest in ways other than just having them gawking at her. When we later find out that this is Sana rather than their martial arts friend, it seems a bit strange that they needed her in the first place when Faisal just walks up to the bullies and simply (actually the dialogue here gets a little complicated, so it might need some revision) tells them to flee. Afterwards, there’s some more infatuation, maybe a little too much since they just met, and the chapter ends nice and soft. So overall, this chapter is good, and is a nice romantic start to your book.
Chapter 2: It’s been a month since the last chapter, and you start off with some dialogue that truly has us curious. We get a bit of a forbidden love story between Riyaz and Anjali, and some emotionless narration from Faisal. It immediately seems a little strange that he is opposed to love when he was obsessed with Sana literally a chapter ago, and a few paragraphs down he’s back at it again. If you want to go with this kind of apathetic approach to love, you’re defintiely going to have to tone down some of the stuff between Sana and Faisal, because you can hardly say that’s not love. I do absolutely love Sana’s shy attitude, and the way Faisal confides in her with his friend’s dillemma. Then we have Sana’s confession as to why love is so important, which is nice and all, but it gets a little long a frankly a bit boring. I would always try to keep dialogue to a minimum, and not have entire speeches in every chapter. As for the last chapter, this one is pretty fast paced as well, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but remember that you can always slow down, always choose to elaborate on some of these events rather than just saying they happened.
Story Development: 75/100
Overall, I see a great plot developing within your story! But I also see a lot of work to be done. Sometimes it helps to go back kind of a concrete plan for every chapter, and to make sure that while you’re writing or revising that everything stays on track. Your story is a bit frantic in the way it’s written, despite the fact that your writing is truly amazing. Your special request was flow and characters, which I feel I’ve already discussed, so just keep in mind these tips while you make a few edits.
Final Notes: 85/100
This is a really great story with lots of potential, and once some work is done, I can definitely see it going places. Keep up the good work, and always keep learning more! Thanks for choosing me as your reviewer!
