Sunflower Reviews

Mila - A Thousand Dreams

Reviewer: Mila_333

Review: A Thousand Dreams

Client: ninaa1011

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Title
The title does fit the story to some extent; I guess we need the story to progress a little more to know the deeper meaning behind. Apart from that, I think the title is a little catchy and exudes the feels, but I wouldn't rate it as hundred percent attractive since the meaning can be very vast.

Blurb
The contents specified in the blurb are relevant to the plot and the blurb also contains the required elements that need to be included. Overall, it is certainly catchy, intriguing, and interesting. However, I took note of some incorrect sentence structures. I'd recommend some revision on those. Kindly re-read them and restructure some of them, especially in Asher's description and in the last paragraph. For example, you can add 'Being the' CEO....
It also lacks some required punctuation marks to correctly mark the sentences and give them the appropriate voice.

Cover
The cover is pretty simple in my opinion. I really like the heart organ in the middle; it is a symbolic representation of the plot. The little saying is also nice. The wording of the title, the font size and style are nice. But, huge attention here! Some might mistake the title for 'A Thousand' and 'Dreams' may pass as your author name. Also, it's a bit unprofessional to leave out your Author name. I suggest rearranging that and you'll be good to go!

Plot
The plot is definitely interesting, I really like the way you started the story, it gave a good background information on the female protagonist and her life. I could feel you knew the contents you were writing about really well, I already had doubts you're linked to the medical world without even reading your author's notes. Hence, that's a very good point for you as you know your subject pretty well and the facts provided in the story were accurate. The meeting of the female protagonist with the male protagonist was also really on point. It was exciting, fun and very interesting. That particular scene was definitely one of my favorites. The scene where the female protagonist performs the surgery as soon as she enters the hospital is also really unexpected and very hooking. However, I have a love and hate feeling towards the two point of views of the female protagonist, one being in the present and one being in the past. I still don't know how I feel about it, sometimes I just think that narrating the things that happened in the past in alternate points of view diminishes the readers' excitement to some extent and it was at first a buzz kill for me. This might go against your liking as readers tend to focus more on the present happenings, in this way, they are thrilled for what's gonna happen, and if main characters have a past, they have this sense of excitement when you keep it as a mystery. On the other hand, I started to like it a little more later on and I finally began accepting the male character from the past as the second male protagonist. The way you've planned it is also unique in its own way and you can leave it out as such. I just had to point out the above. To conclude on this note, I can definitely claim I was more excited to read about the POV in the present time.

Another thing I realized was that during the first chapters, Nova asked about the female protagonist's episodes after she came back from her trip. When in reality she could have just called her if she already knew that she had this problem. So, here as a best friend she seems a little bit unconcerned although I know that's not the case, I think that this is only a plot-hole which you can definitely rectify.

The pacing is also good especially during the present time. Again, same issue, the narration of the past slows down the pacing, but at the same time it is unique and gives a lot of insight on the character of the female protagonist albeit, dimming some reader's excitement.

Grammar
Your grammar is quite great and most importantly clean. The only thing I noticed was some typos and the rest was fine. The best way to correct typos is to copy paste your work in a Microsoft Word document and all your mistakes will be automatically pointed out.

Writing style
Your writing style is also nice, it is simple and like-able. You also succeeded in getting a voice to the story as well as to the characters; This is a major success in itself. I like your narration on the female protagonist's mental health, your writing style definitely contributed to making the scenes related to this more impactful. The dialogue of the female protagonist was also well written, especially when she spat at the doctor in the ER and during surgery.

Characters
I personally really appreciate the female protagonist's character although she really needs development which I believe will happen at a later stage in the story, however, in regards to all the things that she went through in the past and how she dealt with her mother and brother and the death of her father and brother, is really commendable. She managed to get up and keep going. She also had the courage to continue her life and did the one thing that her brother would be so proud of. I honestly salute her. The development that is needed in her character is that she should be able to overcome her fears. She needs to find peace and although she has recovered so much already, there is a lot more that needs to be done, especially for her inner peace.

As far as the male character is concerned, the one in the past seems to genuinely care about the female protagonist. He's sweet and caring and definitely someone every girl wants to have in her life. On the other hand, the present male protagonist has a harsher personality in a good way, is intriguing to readers, he's mysterious in the sense that he already kind of has a relationship with the female protagonist, and he's bold. His character's a hot one, screaming dominance. Again, all these qualities of him, I was able to feel all that due to your writing style; the voice you managed to give to his personality.

The chemistry between the two leads is definitely palpable and very much appreciated as a reader. It makes the story interesting and their next meeting is most awaited. I would definitely want more and more of them together.

Reader's excitement
I am surely going to continue reading this story and I cannot wait for your next update. I was really excited throughout the story and I really appreciate your work.