Baby, I'm yours - Benedict Bridgerton

Between two thorns

I excuse myself and rush to my room. I do not exactly know how I am to compose myself after what just happened, nevermind continue to play hide and seek with the rest of the family. How might I ever look Violet in the eye again if I thought she might find out? Every time Colin should tease or Anthony should question, I shall be so paranoid that someone shall find out. I did not want him to be forced to marry me, not if that is not what he should want. And he did not want to marry, he had made that clear enough but he seemed so eager to have his hands on me... It did not matter and I cannot think of it any longer or I shall send myself into a tizzy. So, I climb into bed, and I close my eyes and hope that I can fall asleep with less thoughts of Benedict.

The morning arrives and I am awoken by my ladies maid for breakfast. I don the dress that she has been instructed to lay out for me, I believe today shall bring about the opera this evening. It should be a positively tiring day, even moreso since I could not sleep one bit.

I make my way down for breakfast, and take my seat at the table. Violet is not there, it is only Daphne, Eloise, Colin and Benedict. I hesitate for a moment on where I am to sit, and I am luckily heckled by Daphne who indicates for me to sit by her side. I sink into the seat beside her, and this is when Benedict moves across a chair so he is sat on my other side.

"You are quite a rose between two thorns there, Matilda." Colin comments, pushing some form of pastry into his mouth. I look up at him and see he has already moved onto his second baked good before anyone else has helped themselves to the first.

"Isn't she just?" Benedict chuckles. I have to ignore that, and pretend I am not thinking of anything other than what I might decide to eat.

"Are you quite excited for today, Matilda? I feel almost giddy. It shall be wonderful, do you not think?"

"Uh, yes." I agree, reaching across the table to help myself to an apple. I can feel Benedict grinning at me. "And the opera this evening shall be uh..."

"As boring as can be?" Colin interjects, sipping at his juice.  "I have always found the opera so boring. It is just so... oh, I cannot think of the word."

"Tedious, perhaps?" Benedict suggests. He inches forward to reach for an apple the same as mine, placing his hand on my upper thigh as he does so. I feel my breath hitch slightly. For goodness sake, Matilda. What a ridiculous reaction, it is merely a hand! But his hand sits there whilst he continues to talk. "The best bit about the opera is sneaking out of it so that we might go someplace else."

"And where do you suggest, brother? Some of us are expected to behave." Daphne rolls her eyes, sitting up beautifully and perfectly poised. It is no wonder to me that she has been named the diamond, she embodies everything the Queen's diamond should be. So elegant and so graceful and all that the other ladies of the ton, myself included, wish to me.

"We cannot all conduct ourselves as you do Benedict. See, women do not have the freedom to simply leave the opera without a male company, hm?" Eloise makes an annoyed noise, shaking her head with outrage. "Take Matilda, for example. Yesterday, she could not sit with poor Lord Ambrose without your presence! That is a man that she shall be forced to marry, strung into a lifetime of his companionship and his boring tales of whatever it is he fills his days with, and yet you cannot trust her to be unaccompanied alongside him?"

"Matilda is a little minx. She might do anything at any moment, I have to keep my eye on her." He teases, squeezing my thigh softly, before he releases his grasp. He reaches to pick up his napkin and dab the sides of his face. "Now if you might excuse me-"

"What? You have some important fruit you must paint?" Colin grins, also standing to excuse himself. "Sisters. Matilda. Have a wonderful day."

They both leave the room, and I feel as though I can breathe again. I let out a long sigh, and begin digging into my breakfast naturally. As I look up, I see Eloise with her eyes narrowed suspiciously at me. "Did I do something wrong?..."

"No, no." She says no, but everything else about her says yes. I must convince myself I am only being paranoid, or that Eloise is just like this. "I just thought you might like to know that I am keeping my eye on you as well."

"What? Why? What did I do?" I am panicked!

"Well, I find it rather suspicious that this Whistledown lady pops up out of nowhere, just as soon as you arrive in London. I have my sights set on being the one to unmask her and let me warn you, I am quite the detective." She now stands, holding her notebook against her chest and tapping it twice. "I shall be investigating, thoroughly. And rest assured, I shall find out if it is you."

I scoff. "Eloise, I trust you shall. And we shall all be ever so impressed when you do."

With a huff, she leaves the room. The only two remaining are myself and Daphne now. "Might you like to promenade with me this morning, Matilda? I feel we have much to talk about."