let me down slowly - wilbur soot

chapter 70- pandering

it's perfect.

everything is perfect.

i don't remember the last time i was this happy. when i take aubrey home, and we're both dripping wet and freezing, i kiss her at the door and go back to my apartment.

i fall asleep immediately and i dream about her. i dream about her summer lips, about her drenched dark hair, about the raindrops that were caught between her eyelashes.

and when i wake up the next morning, the words "i love you" escaping from her mouth- her soft, melodic voice saying those words just for me- is the first thing i think about. and i wake up smiling.

and when tommy begs me to stream with him later that day, i gladly oblige. because she might join my stream. she might be there just for me. she might watch me play a random video game for 3 hours. and just the possibility of her being there draws me to my computer like a magnet.

"hey, big wil!" tommy says joyfully, but deepening his voice dramatically. "how are you today?"

"i'm doing very well, how about you?" i ask in a dreamy voice. my mind isn't entirely on the stream, rather, constantly checking me and tommy's viewers to see if a specific someone joins.

"so well. i'm actually doing better than you're doing."

"i don't think so, tommy."

"i think so."

"i think i'm just about the happiest i've ever been. i don't think you can top that."

"what's got you so happy then, hmm?" tommy asks, an enticing, teasing tone in his voice.

"i'm just so excited to stream with you, tommyinnit," i reply.

"no you're not. you never are."

"yes i am!"

after checking again, she's there. in my chat.

aubreyyxo.

and a grin spreads across my face.

"is it a woman?" tommy asks. "do you have a girlfriend now?"

"um..."

my phone buzzes with a text notification.

aub-dawg

yeah wilbur, do you have a girlfriend? ;)

(1:03 pm)

my breath hitches and i fight the urge to smile wider.

"i don't know, tommy," i respond. "do you think i have a girlfriend?"

"you're pandering, wilbur. stop that."

"i'm not trying to pander! maybe i have a girlfriend, maybe i don't. i don't know."

normally that would be considered pandering, but that's the honest to god truth. i don't know if aubrey is my girlfriend or not. unlike her, i've never done this boyfriend/girlfriend thing. i don't know if telling her i love her counts as a "will you be my girlfriend" and i don't know if her saying she loves me too counts as a "yes."

aub-dawg

you don't know if you have a girlfriend?

(1:05 pm)

i smile as i read the text, and as soon as i smile another text pops up.

aub-dawg

stop smiling at your phone. don't read these

texts, you have a stream to run. focus on the