Always You

Chapter 9 | Tired

Weeks passed quickly as well as slowly.
It was a little over a month now since we are married.

Our conversations were limited, only once in days I would ask him a question and he would give a short reply to it. That's it.

I still made breakfast and dinner every day but he did nothing but just glance at them.

I met with Adrian every other day, when he visits me in the cafe and I even introduced him to Atlas and they both have become quite acquainted with each other.

I worked five days a week, I wanted to work on the weekends too but I couldn't since Sorin usually is at the house only doing his work and I don't want him to question my absence. Not that he cares anyway.

One thing I observed was that he doesn't come back on Friday and Saturday nights, which was quite obvious that he spends those nights with Harlow. His girlfriend.

And I am left wondering each and every night that how wonderful it must feel to spend a night with someone you love, cuddling with them, watching movies, kissing and making love.

Once again that emptiness inside me hit me hard, once again I craved affection and love.

Standing under the warm shower, I hugged myself tightly, the tears mixing with water, streaming down my face.

What if I just fill up the bathtub and put my head under the water for some minutes, then I will be free from everything.

I turned off the shower and walking over to the bathtub, turned on its taps and I gazed into the tub as water quickly started to fill it up. It was the end to my misery.

When it filled the tub to almost its brim, I turned off the taps and just took a glimpse of a pathetic face reflecting on its surface.

I am tired. From everything.

And with that, I put my face under the water, the uncomfortable feeling of not being able to breathe properly promptly flooded through me.

My mind was empty, my soul was empty. I was numb, I didn't feel anything.

The only thought to cross my mind was Sorin.

You won't be able to see him ever again. Or be near him. See him smile.

But atleast he would be happier. Everyone will be happy, a burden would be lifted off their shoulders.

Sorin. Think about him.

Just a minute or two more and everything will be over.

Sorin.

He would marry Harlow and be happy. That's all I want.

Sorin! At least tell him what you truly feel about him before dying. Sorin! What happened to him being the reason for our existence.

He doesn't care.

And then there was a flicker of hope.

Maybe he will one day.

And I pulled back my head, gasping loudly clutching my throat and I fell down on the floor and curled my body, taking huge gulps of air.

It hurts. It hurts. Everything hurts. Someone please stop it. Please. Someone. Save me.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Are you done?"

Sorin. More tears fell on hearing his voice. What was I even doing? Killing myself? And denying myself another chance to see him, to hear his voice?

I bit the back of my palm to stop the sound of my sobbing from escaping the bathroom.