If I Stay✔️

20

Trigger warning;
Mentions of SA.
Suicidal thoughts.

A storm was brewing.

The sky was overcast, heavy with dark clouds and the temperature dwindled to minus zero degrees. The rain pelted against the concrete, a constant splat splat splat echoing in the background, mixed with the sound of rumbling thunder as lightning illuminated the darkness, reflecting from the murky waters below.

Leo was shivering, his teeth chattering loudly as goosebumps arose on his reddened skin, his now-soaked thin school shirt and black polyester dress pants doing nothing to shield him from the torrential weather. His crimson stained cheeks burned from the ice-like gusts, his skin tingling as though it had been touched with a lit cigarette.

He couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten to this specific bridge, nor could he recall climbing over the worn-down metal railing, the same railing that was now harshly gripped in his palms, the chipped rusted parts cutting through his skin as crimson fell to the concrete edge like raindrops from his palm.

Jump.

The voices continued to taunt him, filling his mind with the same nonsense he'd heard fine and time again, though this time instead of ignoring them like he usually would, Leo was contemplating their words.

Why shouldn't he jump?

What is there to keep him here?

His brothers hated him now, they'd all made that very clear with the words they'd not long spoken, or should Leo say screamed. Lily was terrified of him, not that he could blame her, Leo was terrified of himself too.

And then there's Emilio. Fuck, Leo didn't want to leave him, he'd never felt a feeling so deeply to that he did for the grey-eyed boy, one that he didn't quite understand. There was nothing he wanted more than to run off into the sunset with Emilio and live their happily ever after, but this wasn't a fairy tale and that dream that Leo longed for would never play out, he wouldn't let it.

He couldn't.

Em deserved so much better, he deserved someone who wouldn't break promises, he deserved someone who could show him within their touch just how much they loved him, he deserved someone just as perfect as himself.

He deserved everything that Leo could never give.

So what was there to stay for?

Just one step and he'd be free; body, mind and soul.

Just one step and he could finally let go.

One step and all his pain would be gone.

THREE DAYS EARLIER

After thirty minutes of numbness, Leo picked himself up from the floor.

His trembling hands reached out for his clothes, grasping the material tightly between his fingers before quickly dressing himself, wincing lowly as he did.

God he was sore, so fucking sore. His neck was stinging, his back was in agony, his stomach cramping into knots. And his mind... fuck, everything was too much, too overwhelming, too painful.

Making his way to the en-suite connected to Atlas' parents room, Leo rushed to the toilet bowl throwing up the contents of his stomach, gagging with each and every pained heave as he gripped the ceramic bowl tightly.

He sank to the floor, laying his forehead on the cool off-white tiles, inhaling a shaky breath before breaking down.

It was one of those moments where you cried so hard that you couldn't breathe, where your throat hurt from your wails and your eyes burned from the overflow of tears.