She sat down on her window and closed the curtain. She sat deep in thought. She thought about Suga. It was like he was two different people. A tough, cool, uncaring guy and a hopeful, innocent, happy child. She didn't know which one was real, and which one she had become infatuated with. There was no way it was love, she told herself, she barely knew him now. He had changed so much. He wasn't shy anymore. He wasn't as innocent anymore. She sighed and put her head in her hands. How had one guy managed to throw her in such a state? Hadn't she learned her lesson? All she thought about was Suga, Suga, Suga. She shook her head to clear it. He was so confusing. So beautifully confusing. One minute he's nearly kissing her against lockers, and the next he's showing her his favorite stars. She hugged her knees to her chest. The sad part was she let him drag her feelings around like that. He was just a middle school crush! He was nothing special! So why did she feel like this? She sat and thought about his eyes. She loved his eyes. And his smile. And his cheeks. She loved everything, but she very possibly loved his eyes the most. They looked so kind. No matter who he was. Tough or shy or innocent. His eyes just looked so warm, comforting, kind, and inviting. She couldn't even describe them properly, she didn't have the words. She bit her lip and leaned her head against the window. Why was she like this? How exactly did he do this to her without saying a word?
She came to school early the next day. She walked down the empty halls, staring at her feet. She finally sat down on a bench. She watched the school fill up with more and more people. Coming and going, more and more. Finally she stopped actually seeing them. She stared into space blankly. Thinking and feeling nothing. She loved doing this. Everything was so simple in that state. Blankness. Simplicity. She smiled, then sighed. She finally noticed the person standing straight in front of her. She jumped a little. It was Suga, as usual. He didn't say anything, he was just looking at her.
"Yes?" She asked softly. He shook his head and smiled weakly, then walked on. Raking his fingers through his hair as he went. She watched him go. She wondered for a moment, if she did the same thing to him, as he did to her. She chuckled. Impossible.
She was nowhere near his level of beauty and complexity.
