03.05.22
09:15
come in from the fields. soon it will be time for the birthright. no matter where i begin, the line breaks and i have to mend my way back to the beginning. aren't you tired of eating one mouthful at a time? almost-dear, go to sleep. i'll wake you up when i'm done counting the bodies. this is how it feels to wear a binder in the bath. this is how it feels when the bank takes the house. talk to me about american tragedies, how all we know for sure about the dream is that she was born with lungs full of liquid. this is how it feels to wake up halfway through the punch line. i have a memory of wild island foxes running along a road at sunset. everything was so orange for so long and now my father is losing his mind, which of my bodies will he leave in the closet when the house is reclaimed?
lover-adjacent, i wear all of the ghosts around here. it is all inwards from here, darling, it is all into the dark without a canary. if i stop telling jokes about my cunt it's already too late to turn back to the air. aren't you tired of pretty boys and cruelty? aren't you tired of pretending to be tired of things you will never get to be? like pretty and cruel. i am jacob; this is my lamb's skin. this is how it feels to swallow america. every room i walk into is full of dead birds. the line break always cutting me off just before i make it home. i have a memory of esau as a child jumping into the pool in his swim trunks. no wonder, before they grow up all men are little gods dribbling apple juice down their chins in the solar flare of late july. father, touch my arm. tell me how it feels.
// thinking of finishing this book at 100 chapters. it's 90 something i think.
YOU ARE READING
words don't come that easy.
PoetryI've tried. but i've always failed to contain these thousand words in a few sentences, maybe im bad at expressing macro feelings in the few words that I'm limited to. you might think you know me enough because it's been a long time since i first wav...
