47 - Self pity

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TRIGGER WARNINGS:
EXPLICIT LANGUAGE
SWEARING

I shook my head, a dull headache already beginning to form and went for the door, going past Raphael

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I shook my head, a dull headache already beginning to form and went for the door, going past Raphael. My eyes couldn't meet his. I only found out about Silvia because he blabbed to me and I'm sure Enzo wouldn't like that. Perhaps my hormones were acting up but I think I'm being perfectly reasonable.

I headed for our bedroom and spent the next hour alone, wallowing in my own self pity. I shouldn't have even confronted him but it was plaguing my mind. Silvia wasn't even here and yet she was still playing games with us. With me. And he should have been on my side. Why was he so reluctant to do something about her? I mean sure she's Isabella's cousin but what the fuck did that matter.

I heard a knock on the door. "Go away." I pulled the blanket I had wrapped around me closer. I wanted to be alone for the rest of the day. My mood was definitely deflated. I didn't want to see him, not yet.

The door opened and Raphael walked in, hands up as a sign of peace. He closed the door behind him and walked over to me, dropping himself onto the bed beside me. He sighed and rubbed his face.

"Well I feel like shit." He breathed, his musky scent drifting from him. Typical Raphael. He was also quite sensitive and now I felt even more worse because I landed him in it. "It's not your fault." I mumbled, picking at a loose thread on the woollen blanket. My voice was hoarse and sadness dripped off each word.

"It was my fault. I told you, I just thought he would have told you." He looked down at my restless hands.

"It wasn't your fault. He forgot to tell me and I just got really upset I suppose. It just feels like she's got away with everything she's done and he doesn't even care." I sighed feeling my stomach turn with queasiness. "I understand you and I understand him. He doesn't care about her enough to even think about her. Just let it go Lira. He doesn't want you to do something stupid and get hurt that's all." He spoke carefully.

He was right. He just cared a lot about my well-being and safety. I wasn't even thinking straight. Tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, making my lips quiver. "I'm so stupid aren't I?" I gulped, swallowing a hard lump. Enzo was angry with me and I pushed him too far. Yet again I had to spoil everything.

"Hey hey, you're not stupid. Shh." Raphael reassured and instantly wrapped me into a hug. I hugged him back and cried. I let it all out. Here I was being disappointed in myself now. And I made Enzo mad. And I was crying on Raphael's shoulder like a baby. I wanted Admir. He would tell me to grow the fuck up but in a nice way.

Raphael remained with me until I stopped crying and he just listened to me. He was so caring and sweet. He gave me advice and said that I should talk to Enzo about it all. He was right of course.

When dinner time came, we were all sat around the dining table. I didn't want to be here but Raphael made me come. I couldn't face Enzo. I was too stubborn and upset to even look at him. Ace and Alessia were having dinner with us. Raphael was the only one talking whilst being a complete slob with his dinner. He was trying to ease the tension. I glanced down at my plate of two slices of meaty pizza. I just had no appetite.

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