A Bad Decision

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Because let's face it, he was bound to lose his patience at some point.

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"You can't be serious about this?" Carter said. "This has to be the dumbest decision you've ever made."

No, the dumbest decision Donovan had ever made was deciding to come to Whole Foods with Carter while it was her time of the month. He wasn't allowed to kill his wife in the middle of the produce section of Whole Foods.

"Carter, you like honey crisp apples and I like red delicious. We'll get both," Donovan said.

He reached for the apple Carter had torn from his grip and she jerked it out of his reach.

"No. Because you say that but later on when your apples go bad, in a day, you'll steal some of my apples."

"They won't go bad that fast."

Donovan knew their continued argument at the apple section drew attention but he knew mentioning that to Carter would mean everyone received a stare intense enough to make the onlookers scatter.

"Donovan, they bruise just looking at them. Honey crisp always tastes good. We're not getting your disgusting apples. You'll thank me later."

Donovan leaned his head back. I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife. I can't kill my wife. I love my wife.

"Okay. Let's move on," Carter said.

Carter bagged up the apples and set them in the cart. Donovan turned to another section but talked to Carter over his shoulder.

"Green or purple grapes?" he asked.

Why did he ask? He shouldn't have asked and he knew it the second the question had left his mouth.

"I don't like grapes," Carter said.

"Yes, that's why you ate an entire bag of them by yourself two weeks ago," Donovan said under his breath.

He grabbed a bag of purple grapes, adding them to the cart.

"I said-"

"I like grapes," Donovan said. "You don't have to eat them."

He didn't look at her as he kept moving. He figured the less eye contact might bring down his level of irritation. In another section, he picked up a peach and sniffed it.

"Peaches are weak," Carter said.

"Then I'll eat it to put it out of its misery," Donovan said. "A merciful murder."

He glanced at her but her flat look told him his humor wasn't going to work on her today. He wasn't sure if anything would. Maybe a baseball bat to the head, ride out the few days with her unconscious. I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife.

Donovan set down the peach and bagged nectarines instead without making a comment. Carter sighed, which Donovan took as a blessing. At least she hadn't said anything.

"Carter if you want, you can get another cart and go get that last few items on the list and we meet up after," Donovan said.

In other words, Carter if we don't split ways this might be the end.

"I'm good with you."

Without a word, Donovan moved to the greens section. He grabbed two boxes of spinach but when he returned, Carter stared at the containers. Don't say it, Carter, don't say it.

"No," she said, crossing her arms.

I can't kill my wife in Whole Foods, I can't kill my wife in Whole Foods.

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