I Must Confess That I Feel Like A Monster

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Alatus POV:

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Alatus POV:

I stood there, sobbing in Barbatos' arms and wings for about an hour, and he just stood there and let me, it's surprising really, I would've thought he'd just leave after a while, but maybe he feels the same way about me as I feel about him

Then something hits me, he killed my mom, I shouldn't be forgiving him, no matter how much I love him

He did say it was an accident though, so maybe I should just forgive him, but he actually killed my mom

I don't know what to think about this, well, I need to know if he really loves me, if he doesn't, then it's probably best just to leave him while I can

"B...Barbatos" I say, fighting back tears that threaten to soak me

"Yes?" Barbatos asks, a small hint of pain in his voice

"Do... Do you love me?" I ask, looking up at him

"Of course I do" Barbatos replies, I'm glad he said that even if he's lying, I really love him and hearing him say he feels the same makes me feel really amazing

I smile lightly "thank you" I say, still holding back tears

"No need to thank me" he replies, his voice is so calming, even with that hint of pain I hear in it

I'm exhausted, anyone would be after bawling their eyes out for a whole hour

"You look tired... Morax destroyed my house though..." Barbatos says

"Oh" I say, I don't want to go back to my father right now, there's no doubt in my mind that he really wants to kill Barbatos now, so I want to be there as a sort of human shield, however, that would only work with the assumption that my father wouldn't kill me, even to kill his worst enemy, which is unlikely

At least I would die next to the man I love most, it wouldn't be a horrible death

"We can go to that glaze lily field we met each other in" I suggest, it would be nice to go there in memory of my mother since those were her favourite flowers

"Good idea" Barbatos says then teleports us there

I hope my dad can't find us here, but I'm too tired to really care right now, so I lay down and fall asleep almost instantly

Barbatos POV:

I watch as the Adeptus falls asleep so quickly, I begin to think of the events of the day, this was one of the most eventful days of my life, and that's saying something

I also think about how I told Alatus that I love him, is it true?

I look at him, sleeping soundly in the flowers, I definitely love the look of him, but that doesn't mean I love him

He forgave me for quite literally murdering his mother though, he would be so heartbroken if I didn't love him, and just the fact that I care if it would hurt him probably means that I love him, right?

I sigh and decide not to think about it right now, I lay next to him in the field of flowers, wrapping my arms around him

I keep my wings behind me though, it's not worth hurting myself when he's not even going to feel the comfort it would bring him if he were awake

I close my eyes, trying to fall asleep along with him, I am exhausted too after all, and if we both die here, so be it, at least we won't be alone in Celestia

I fall asleep after about half an hour, his warmth helping to comfort me
________________________________

I wake up a few hours later and see that Alatus is still sleeping, the next thing I notice after that is that my back hurts like hell, I mean, obviously that would happen, I quite literally got stabbed in the back

Now that I think about it my whole body is kind of sore, but that could be because I'm sleeping on the ground, it could also be because I fought for my life only a few hours ago

Alatus turns over to face me in his sleep, I brush his hair out of his face gently the notice the tears that are under his eyes, he must be dreaming about his mother

I gently wipe his tears away, smiling sadly, I caused him this pain, accidentally, but still, I caused it, and I feel really bad about it

That's more proof that I love him right there, so I'm just going to accept that I love him at this point

Maybe I should ask him to be my boyfriend when he wakes up, that would either cheer him up or just make me look shallow

And he might not even accept since I just killed his mother, I mean, if someone killed my mother I definitely wouldn't date them, not that I have a mother but I can guess how he feels

I'm guessing a mother is someone you love and care for deeply, which is why I don't think it's right for him to date someone who killed his mother and only wanted to get close to him to take down his father anyway

I'm a horrible person, aren't I? I mean, I manipulated this young Adeptus into loving me so I could kill his father, then I accidentally killed his mother instead, who would ever want to be with someone like me?

I'm a monster

A/N: happy mothers day! Or for these two, happy no mothers day 😈

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