Crash

We need to talk

As soon as Jane arrived, Penelope felt better. There was something about hugging your loved one, knowing that you're not alone anymore. Jane listened for a long time as Penelope retold the story, having told Charles they'd talk later when she was home. As she spoke, Jane held her hand, telling her that everything was going to okay. It felt nice to hear, even if she didn't believe it. 

As soon as they got in the front door, Jane rushed off to get towels. Penelope was still soaking wet from the rain on set, but in the commotion she'd completely forgotten about it. But now she was home and over the initial shock, she was starting to feel it. Her teeth chattered as the cold set in, freezing water from her hair dripping down her back like tiny icy knives. 

"You okay?" Jane asked tentatively as she handed her another towel, her brow furrowed. "I can stay up with you if you want, I really don't mind."

Penelope shook her head, letting the towel hang off her shoulders. "I'm fine. I have to make a call. Thanks, Janie."

"Of course! Whatever you need, okay? Wake me up anytime, I'll leave the door unlocked."

Penelope gave her the best grateful smile she could manage. "Thank you." Then, she turned and made her way up the stairs towards her balcony. The night air was warm but refreshing, and the breeze helped her to think a little clearer. Her mind was still whirring but at least she'd stopped crying. She hadn't felt sheer panic like that in a long time. The last time she remembered feeling that way, she'd found Frankie in a puddle of his own vomit - the trigger for his first rehab trip. Nothing would ever match that, but this came scarily close. 

Charles answered the call on the third ring. "Hey," he said softly. His voice was like coming home, somewhere she felt safe and less alone. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she said, though the lie was so obvious she might as well not have bothered. "Where are you right now?"

"I'm at home. I left training early. Told my guys I had a family emergency, they understood. I wasn't going to leave you alone."

Family. The word sounded strange, but in a way she liked it. It hadn't occurred to her before, but that's exactly what Charles was to her. He was a part of her now, a member of her family and she was a part of his. 

Penelope played with the rings on her fingers, trying to work up the courage to have the difficult conversation that led ahead. She hadn't planned for this, but she couldn't run from it. If she wanted to keep him, they had to get through the hard times, too. "Charles...we need to talk."

His voice took on that sad tone again. "I know."

She took a deep breath. She had to get through this. She would get through this. "What Logan told me today...I need you to know that I don't feel anything. I would never do anything to hurt us because...I love you. I love you too much, it's like this all consuming feeling that I can't run away from. I was upset because Logan is my friend and he's the only person who knows what it's like in this fucking industry...we've done it all together. But you should've seen his face, it was like I was breaking his heart and...and it's never gonna be the same again. Please believe me."

"I believe you," he said simply. 

Penelope took a shuddery breath of relief, a weight lifted off her shoulders. "You do? But you always said you thought that Logan might..."

"I fell in love with you after a week, Nell. The guy's known you for years, how can I blame him? I trust you."

Deep in Penelope's heart, a small sprout of hope bloomed amongst the darkness. "You loved me after a week?"

"I've never told you that before?" 

"No. But I think I did, too."

"If I was with you, I'd kiss you right now."

Penelope bit her lip as she smiled. "My hands would be in your hair."

"You'd smell like that perfume you have, in the pink bottle."

"You'd taste like mint, the way you always do. I'd hold your hand, too." 

On the other end, she could almost feel him smiling. "And you'd be wearing that dress that I like, the short one, that shows your-"

"Okay, Romeo. Time for bed."

"Ohh," he complained as Penelope made her way back inside, curling up under the covers, her phone on his pillow. "Just as it was getting good."

"I'll make it up to you," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Win this weekend and I'll make sure to bring that dress to Jeddah."

"Miss Jonas," he mused, "I'll hold you to that."

*********************

Going back to set the next day was a challenge. As promised, Logan had requested a period of leave, which had gone down about as well as expected. When she arrived, the set was in shambles, crew running around trying to get organised as Li went on the rampage. 

Penelope found Charlotte sitting backstage, watching the mess unfold. She waved to her on approach, and Penelope couldn't help but question if she knew about what had happened. Fortunately, her questions didn't go unanswered for long. 

"Hey," Charlotte greeted, patting the crate next to her as she gestured for Penelope to sit down. "Li is not happy. Logan's really thrown her through a loop."

Penelope's nails dug into her palms as she tried to stay grounded. "Yeah."

When she looked up, she found Charlotte staring at her, a compassionate look on her face. "Look, Penelope...I heard about what happened. I just wanted to say, well, Logan's my mate. But so are you. I've known you for years, and there is not a single bad bone in your body. What happened isn't your fault, I hope you know that. Whatever you need, I got you."

Without thinking, Penelope tackled Charlotte in a hug. Her friend was surprised at first, but it didn't take her long to return the embrace. "Thank you," Penelope whispered. "Thank you so much."

When they pulled away, Charlotte patted her hand. "You doing okay?"

Penelope nodded. In truth, she was feeling better than yesterday. Knowing that it didn't hurt anything between her and Charles had made the whole situation feel a little easier to deal with. It still sucked, but at least she hadn't lost him, too. "I don't think he's ever gonna forgive me. I don't know how to deal with that."

Charlotte sighed, shaking her head. "Logan...he's a good guy. But he's quick to react. He lets his emotions get the best of him, always has. Best advice I can give you? Just give him time. One day, who knows. Maybe we'll all laugh about this."

"Yeah...maybe."

"Or, maybe we'll still be fighting. Who knows?"

Despite the nature of the situation, Penelope couldn't help but laugh. It started as a giggle before launching into full blown laughter, her eyes watering as she and Charlotte howled away in the corner. They must have made quite the spectacle, because it was enough for Li to spot them, marching over with a sense of purpose that Penelope couldn't help but find admirable. 

"Brilliant!" Li called. "First I lose my male lead, now you two have lost your minds. I swear, you kids make me want to murder people."

Penelope and Charlotte stood no chance. As soon as their eyes met, they launched into another wave of ferocious laughter, earning them each a stricter glare from the boss. 

"Hello? What's so funny?"

Penelope brushed a tear from her cheek, laughing so much that her eyes watered. Charlotte cackled next to her, struggling to form words. "Logan's in love with her," she cried hysterically.  "Penelope friend-zoned him! We've been best mates for years. We're like siblings!"

"Oh my god!" Penelope winced. "It's like incest!"

The two of them laughed more as Li regarded them with horror. "I have no show," she said aloud, pulling on her ponytail like she was trying to rip it out her head. "You three have lost your minds, and I have no show."

Penelope and Charlotte leant against each other, still laughing. "We have no show!" Charlotte mused, giggling as Li left them to it, shaking her head as they laughed until their sides were sore. Maybe it wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, but anything had to be better than crying. And for now, hysterical laughter was as good as it was going to get, and Penelope was good with that. 

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