Bagsy Beetlehorn and the Inferno Conscription (The Bagsy Chronicles 3)

The Report

'Fitzsimmons gave us nothing to work with,' Hagas Mortem grumbled angrily. 'They show no respect for the Ministry. It's a miracle they're still allowed to work there.'

At the start of the year Hagas had been working in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, dealing with wayward muggle children who wandered into places they shouldn't. Hagas was a hard worker, and never broke from his twenty-four-seven, three-sixty-five job and had finally achieved the transfer he'd been long awaiting. Now, he was the proud head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures which, much to his satisfaction, controlled the DRMC – the Department for the Rehabilitation of Magical Creatures. It was to his satisfaction because Rebontil 'Bontie' Beetlehorn, who'd quickly become one of the most infamous employees of the department and who'd been consistently rude and short with Mr Mortem, was now his inferior.

Miss Beetlehorn was known for being highly controlling and sticking her nose in places it wasn't welcome. The rest of the Ministry seemed to love her for it, and she was rocketing her way up the promotion ladder, especially given how uncontroversially boring her career at Hogwarts had been. She achieved the exact grades needed for her role in the Ministry, and no one had any recollection of her being anything but pleasantly and unoffensively ordinary, and so no one had anything bad to say about her at all. But Mr Mortem was very prepared to cut her nose from her face if she tried any of her antics under his watch. He wasn't fooled for one second by her silly attempts at professionalism.

'You know that wasn't what I was asking,' Bontie Beetlehorn snapped at him. She'd appeared in his office that morning, much to his displeasure, and had insisted on access to files above her clearance level. He wouldn't be surprised, with her track record, if she'd have the clearance by the end of the year, but that didn't mean he was about to give her the files before he absolutely had to.

'Bontie,' Hagas began.

'It's Miss Beetlehorn, thank you very much,' Bontie cut across him.

Hagas narrowed his eyes, deep bags hanging lower than his nose below them, and looked at her in frustration. 'I will tell you nothing if this persists.'

'And then I'll have the DRMC strike again.' Bontie folded her arms, fixing Mortem with her gorgeous green eyes. Mortem reckoned Bontie had only done so well because she was a woman and she was pretty – he didn't think she had any talent for ministry work besides perhaps being a receptionist that was easy on the eyes. Bontie looked like she was getting more furious by the second. 'Answer me.'

As much as Hagas hated to admit it, he couldn't have the DRMC strike again. Bontie had caused a lot of trouble through her strikes. The first time had allowed security to slip, most likely contributing towards the magical creatures that had been stolen two years prior. The second time had made the legislators crack. When the working demands of the creature carers had been reluctantly met, the previous head of department had been sacked. Bontie's strikes might be the reason for Hagas' promotion, but that didn't mean he felt any gratitude to her.

'I can't give you the file, you are related to one of the interviewees,' Hagas sighed, sitting back in his sleek office chair. It had been charmed for maximum comfort by the Department of Comfy Office Chairs. A separate strike had spawned the creation of that division.

Bontie looked ready to burst from anger. 'I must know what happened to my sister – she struggles to talk, and seems entirely traumatised, and not one person here has done anything to assure me of her safety either mental or physical.'

'I can't show you the file,' Hagas continued as if Bontie hadn't spoken, 'but, off the record, I can let you know what was said.' Bontie watched him silently. 'Two ministry officials interviewed young Bagsyllia Barciry Beetlehorn on the 20th of June,' Hagas began.

'Without my permission,' Bontie rudely cut in again.

'You're not her guardian last time I checked,' Hagas pointed out. Bontie grumbled something furiously under her breath. 'And her real parents said it was fine.'

'The Ministry interrogated-'

'Interviewed.'

'-my twelve-year-old sister without any next of kin present.'

'Her parents said it was fine.' Hagas fixed Bontie with a fierce look. 'They asked her about the incident at Hogwarts. A monster of unknown origin and unknown kind appeared and attacked Bagsyllia Beetlehorn and two of her companions, as well as an elf, and was somehow destroyed by her.' Bontie's face paled at that, and Hagas felt a thrill of victory.

'What?' Bontie breathed in disbelief.

'You heard me correctly. A monster attacked your sister and she killed it. A monster that could be the greatest threat we will face in many, many years. However, Fitzsimmons failed to mention how, exactly, this creature was destroyed.'

Bontie was pacing now, an annoying habit of hers. 'Why are you pushing for a new conscription, then? If this creature has been destroyed there is no reason to bring more test subjects in.'

'The Ministry feels it is important to still be wary.'

'Hmm.'

'Your sister, though...' Hagas held back a smirk.

Bontie snapped to attention. 'What about my sister?'

'She told us more than Fitzsimmons. She must trust us a lot more than they do. When the creature was destroyed it caught fire and burnt to ashes. The ashes washed away into the lake and vanished. That's why the Ministry wants us to be wary.' He watched as Bontie thought that through.

'As a result,' she murmured, like a toddler trying to add two and two together, 'you're calling for this new conscription. You're calling for what you've so calculatingly named inferno. But if that is what is being called for, and that creature turned to ash and yet remains a threat, then that means...'

'Exactly.' Hagas furrowed his brow seriously. 'That, Miss Rebontil Beetlehorn, is why I insist that we need the inferno conscription, that we need numerous new test subjects. Preparation, you see. Now, you've got what you came for. Make sure you keep it to yourself or I'll have you fired. Get out of my office.'

Bontie shot Hagas a cold look and swiftly swept from the room. Hagas watched her go with mild satisfaction.