Viking Tribute

Chapter 28: second part.

This is just the end of the previous chapter. I'm planning on another one this WE.

That night my dreams were filled with him. The feel of his skin under my fingers, his lips on my flesh, him inside me... I woke up at dawn, sweating and ashamed. Even in my sleep I was wanton. One should only have such thoughts of their husband, and he would never be mine. Defiled and enslaved, I could only hope to wed a ceorl, one that would accept a used woman with a good dowry. I would live a life of shame and misery, mocked by my peers. A former lady, fallen far below her station. My father and brothers would be forced to disown me.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me of more urgent concerns. I hadn't eaten for a day. Brushing my dress, I hastened towards the house. According to the light, it was a couple of hours after dawn. The cook should have breakfast ready.

I stopped in the small entrance and peeked inside the main hall. Most servants were already gone. Seated at a table, two kitchen maids chatted while peeling vegetables. No sign of Lord Einarr. I walked around them, whispering my greetings, and helped myself to a bowl of gruel. As I scraped the bottom of the pot for the last bits, his door opened. I froze, ready to run, as Hrefna appeared. My heart sunk. So I had been replaced. He didn't waste any time, spending the night with her as soon as he was out of my arms. My eyes flooded as I dropped the spoon in my bowl and bolted outside.

The gruel had a salty taste, mixed with tears I couldn't bother wiping. It wasn't long before I heaved and expelled it. I had forgotten the ginger. It didn't matter; I wasn't hungry anymore.

I resumed my task, absently turning the rough wool into fluffy strands. I tried to distract myself from my dark thoughts by watching people around. Little boys fought with wooden swords while a small group played hide and seek. So had I done with my brothers not so long ago. Those were happy times.

Women walked briskly, carrying buckets of water, turf for the fire, baskets of fish... A couple sneaked out of a barn; I recognized them, he was a farmer and she a dairymaid. His fingers picked a piece of hay out of her hair and she smiled, rising on her toes to kiss him. Sighing, I looked away.

Around noon the warriors came for their training and I retreated in the shadows, partly closing the door. I needed the light but I didn't want to be seen. Staying out of Lord Einarr's way wouldn't be that easy.

The hours passed while I pondered on my prospects. There was still a chance for me to avoid dishonoring my family upon my return. I would have to seek solace in God and become a nun. It wouldn't be easy as I had no natural inclination for monastic life. Obedience didn't come easily to me and humility... It would be tough. But I didn't have much of a choice.

I had to ask Mildred if I could talk to a priest. There had to be a few on this island and I needed guidance.

I prayed for God to guide me until the sun began to sink. My hands were sore and very dirty. I needed to wash. The mere idea of going to the pool made my stomach lurch.

I retrieved a clean shift and my toiletries from my bench and took the path towards the hot creek. I would bath downstream from the pool, far enough that I wouldn't be seen. Following the steaming water, I found myself on the other side of the cliffs. There, just before it got into the fjord, was a spot where the stream got deeper and wider, enough to get in.

I looked around, but there was no one in sight. The settlement was hidden by a hill. I was truly alone.

Taking of my clothes, I was glad I had questioned Svana about the wild animals in her country. Aside from a lost white bear in the winter, which was unlikely as we were too far South, there was no predator bigger than a fox. I would be quite safe, as long as no foreign man came by.

I washed quickly as I needed to get back before total darkness. I might get lost otherwise. That night and all the others, for the two weeks it took me to finish combing, were spent in the small house, sleeping amidst the wool. I fell into a routine, surviving on breakfast only, so as to avoid my owner.

I was a ghost of myself, always silent, trying to be invisible. By then I was down to the last fleece, and eventually my work was all done. Sadness and fear washed over me as I stared at the stacks of soft wool, ready for spinning. I had got used to the work and the privacy it gave me. I didn't want to return to the main house.

After noon, I chased the overseer to request a new assignment.