Sorry

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Wilbur remembered the feeling of the silk that the flag was once made of. He remembered all the time and care Niki put into making his design a reality.

When did it get to this? When did the land he once knew grow to shit?

Maybe it started to go downhill once they won the war. Not the L'manburg vs Manburg war. The very first one.

Maybe Eret was right. Maybe it really was never meant to be.

He knew that history was repeating. He knew the moment he told Phil that he wanted to make a burger van.

He knew he didn't change. He knew that the moment he saw the blue eyes of the boy he once knew.

He tried. By god, he really did. He tried to be a better person. He knew that apologizing to everyone wouldn't reverse all the pain he caused, but it was a start, right?

He remembered how scared Tommy was once he saw the man he once called a brother was alive once more. He always hated seeing that look in the blond boy's eyes, even when they first met. He always tried to make sure that he felt safe and sound.

How funny it is, that the once gentle man that used to calm the waver in Tommy's voice, was now the one that caused that very same waver.

Funny, isn't it?

Oh, and Tubbo! Once shy and sweet and innocent! What happened while he was in limbo? What happened to the wide-eyed boy that clung to Tommy like glue? What happened to the once quiet boy that stood on the sidelines?

He couldn't say that he hated the change, it was just...unexpected, I suppose. If you were to tell him that one of the two small boys that he just took under his wing would one day create nukes, he honestly wouldn't believe you.

Though, I doubt he would even believe himself   if he told himself that he would become Icarus, rising to the top before falling long and hard into the gruesome fiery pit of hell.

Maybe there was a remnant of the L'manburg flag somewhere, he thought. Maybe Tommy has it? Maybe Tubbo?

His memories from when he was Ghostbur were coming back to him now, and he once recalled someone—though he can't quite place who—say that they had a bit of the L'manburg flag. Sure, it was burnt beyond repair, but it was something.

It was something that could maybe make
him feel some sort of emotion. Maybe not
pain or sadness, but hopefully regret. Just something to tell him that the wounds he caused can't be—and never will be—undone.

His half-assed sorry was nothing more than putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. It won't do anything, it won't even staunch the bleeding.

But it was something. Not enough to make him feel pain or regret for what he's done, but it was something.

And that's got to be worth something...right...?

He hoped so.

Maybe, one day, they'll forgive him. Truly forgive him.

Maybe, one day, Tommy wouldn't be scared to look in his brother's eyes.

Maybe, one day, Phil wouldn't treat him like a child, or like a wild animal that's on the brink of going rabid.

Maybe, one day, the entire server will understand how much he's tried to change.

Sure, maybe that sorry was a start, but even so, sorry cannot change a man, no matter how much he may pretend it does.

Sorry doesn't change the fact that he went back to his manipulative ways.

Sorry doesn't change the damage he's caused to Quackity's land.

Sorry doesn't change the lies he told to get his way.

Sorry doesn't change a damn thing.

And he's not even sorry for that.

~<•>~

636 words

This is from a year ago, if anyone remembers that, lol

I figured that, since I wrote this last year for the 1 year anniversary of the DSMP (and L'manburg), I might as well publish it in my oneshots book since the 2nd anniversary of the server is coming up relatively soon, since it was originally on my announcements.

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