Help

ten

F L O R E N C E

"You can go home today." Charles my doctor informs us the second he steps through the door. Giving him a warm and grateful smile, I can only hope that he catches onto how thankful I am for taking care of me the past few days. I couldn't imagine it was easy for him. He looked anxious while treating me, but only when my brothers were in the room. When we were alone he looked a lot more relaxed.

I had to tell all four of them through hand gestures after Charles left, to stop being so mean. Emilio said and I quote: "We just want the best care for our sister." He received a look from me saying: "Are you stupid?

They did in fact not listen to me. I had to apologize on their behalf to Charles by writing in his notepad, because no one thought to give me one.

The past few days have been horrendous in all different ways horrendous days can go.

First of all, although they have put me on medication, my ribs still burn. The pain is not necessarily the issue but rather the constant poking and prodding of the doctor to see where it hurts and where it doesn't. Then, after the poking is done, the pain from it, lasts another twenty minutes before simmering down. I made sure none of my brothers saw the pain I was in, the idea of them yelling at sweet Charles makes me sad just thinking about it.

Secondly, I have not had a moment of peace. I have been watched every hour of everyday in case something goes wrong. They never leave the room, and they never let me have a moment to myself. Not even when I am using the washroom. One of them stands at the closed door just in case.

Thirdly, all four of them have been sulking, as well as having other differing emotions towards me. As someone who hasn't had anyone around in years, I find all social interactions awkward, and my brothers? They are my only social. I literally do not have a life outside of them. But that is a whole other problem in itself.

Emilio has been coddling me. If I want a drink of water, and there is some leftover water from the last sip I had, he will dump the full glass, and then fill it up again because there "could be dust in my water."

Like dust is the worst thing I have inhaled in the past ten years of my life.

Dominic clearly cannot fathom living a moment where he doesn't open his mouth. He claims that when there is silence between the five of us, it is "awkward." Which is understandable because I am silent and I am the definition of awkward. Still though, not a single minute of silence.

Massimo has stuck to his promise. He sits in the far corner of the room doing work on his laptop. He doesn't say much but when he looks up he smiles at me. Not out of pity but rather a genuine smile. Which is nice I guess.

And then there is Lucien. He hasn't been able to look at me since I woke up. However this time around, it isn't because he hates me and wants me to leave. Because I may be silent but I am certainly not blind, I can read people easily. So when we do make eye contact all I see is guilt written all across his face. Guilt of how bad he has treated me, or guilt of how he wished I was back with mom, I will never know.

I don't want to know. When I woke up, and I saw four faces looking at me with pity and heartbreak I knew that they knew. My secret was gone and put on a billboard where everyone and anyone could see. The walls I have built up all these years crumbling into a pile of stones. Now that they know my secret, I realized that I need to build up my new walls. Because I am too vulnerable, too trusting.

Massimo and Lucien treated me like garbage and once they see I am just a frail abused girl all of a sudden they care. What happened not only opened their eyes but mine as well. I know now that to protect me in the long run, I will need to put my instinct to trust them aside. I can prove to them that I am not fragile and that I don't need them. Because when you give people that power they take advantage of you.