Lose Myself Even More

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Zara POV

Almost an hour later all my brothers were back at the hospital. One could tell by me and Declan's eyes that we had been talking.

I had no energy to tell them about what happened to me while in the care of Alexander, so I quietly told Declan that he could tell them for all I care.

He told them he would tell them later and they all came to sit at my side. There stares burning into the side of my face making me squirm out of uncomfortableness.

"What's gonna happen to me?" My voice startles them.

"What do you mean?" I hear the voice of Ezra say. He is still as intimidating as ever.

"I can't use my legs anymore and I'm stuck with people I clearly can't get away from because he (I tiredly pointed to Sammy) apparently has custody over me." I didn't know if I was being to rude, and I don't care. They deserve harsh treatment for leaving me behind.

"I was talking to the nurse. Most likely you will be in a wheelchair. There is no direct cure, but you can get physical therapy to keep your muscle strong, so they don't deteriorate. Your gonna need a lot of help in the future with most things." At this point I have no words. It is my own fault I'm in this situation. I'm never gonna be able to use my legs again because of my own decision. I'm just going to be a burden for the rest of my life.

I'm so sorry it turned out this way. I know the last thing you want is to live with us again. But, I promise you I will do whatever it takes to gain back your trust. I know the boys feel the same. Leaving you and the others was the worst decision I have ever made, and I wish everyday I could take it back, but I can't. I realize that now. You don't ever have to forgive us, but please let us help you." My oldest brother stated.

I know realistically I am gonna need help, but I don't want it. I want everything to go away. I want to move away from this town and explore the world with no worries, no abusive monsters lurking around every corner, and peace with myself. But, I know that's impossible.

"I don't know if I will ever trust any of you again. I have been hurt too many times by a countless number of people, and I don't understand what I ever did wrong. However, I will always love you guys. Your my family I understand that, and we have had beautiful moments together. I wish I could trust you all again, but I don't know how." I said sadly.

"I know you don't trust us, I wouldn't trust us either, but we all love you and we have all missed you. We want a chance to make it right. One chance that's all we need." Ezra voice surprising me as he was never one to tell his true feelings to the crowd.

"I guess I don't really have a choice. We have to make this work. I can't walk anymore. We can try again to rebuild our relationship, but I can't promise it will be like before. All I ever wanted was a stable family, but the love you give and take back without a second glance has made me feel unworthy and to put it simply made me feel like a burden" I sighed out. I wish I could just turn my back on them like they did to me, but I don't have the strength mentally or physically anymore.

I have to do this for me. If I don't I fear I am going to lose myself even more.

Hi Butterflies 🦋
Zara is going to give them a chance, there will be happier moments don't worry the worst is over. I feel she deserve to be happy and that's what she'll be eventually.

I'm gonna be busy the next few days, so sorry if there is not an update 🥺

Leave your comments and let me know what you think.

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Bella 💙

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